Our 2011 Center Parcs Holiday

I'm not going to go through all the pros and cons of Center Parcs [Sherwood Forest] because I've already done it in a previous post. I wouldn't even have bothered writing this were it not for my grumpy old man's latest faux pas.

I will however, mention that this time we stayed [eight of us] in an executive lodge rather than one of those cheaper peasant sheds [I really must stop calling them that, it's rubbing off]. We had four en-suite bedrooms, two with big rainforest showers and two with posh baths that lit up and blew bubbles up your bum.

All of the bedrooms had LCD TV's, as did the games room and lounge area. Two of the bedrooms had balconies with tables and chairs, plus - in my case - damp towels and my camera tripod. We also had our own sauna - phew, was it hot in there!

Again we had maid service, which we didn't avail ourselves of - apart from towel changes - this is because we decided that we were far too untidy to let the maid in. It'd be no good any of my family getting rich and having staff to 'do' for them because they wouldn't know how not to tidy up first. I would, however - being a bit [ok, a lot] more domestically challenged than the rest of my family - be prepared to get used to having cleaning staff if I come in to money.

Anyway, on to the reason for me writing this short ... er, biography. You know, it always starts off as one paragraph or at the most two ... then I get carried away:

Ahem, my GOM's latest 'foot in mouth' came when we were in the swimwear shop next to the dome, I'd been in the day before - after a few splashes around the rapids - and spotted a tankini I liked but wasn't carrying any money. This time I was going to try and hopefully buy - to add it to my collection of [six] others.

The only one in my size was gone, boo hoo. I turned to grumpy and said ... 'Somewhere in there [pointing to the dome and waggling my finger], there's a fat woman walking around in my tankini!'

Reply ... 'yes there is' ...