A 'bit' Carried Away

I’m known amongst my contempories as someone who loves computers, almost enough to qualify as a geek [not quite though as I’m far too old and completely the wrong sex], I’ve tinkered inside them, adding bits, cleaning bits, rearranging bits [while suitably earthed against static].

I’ve found that I talk a completely different language from most of my friends, I try not to but I can’t help it. Although I now use the proper and correct terminology [according to them] of ‘bottom bit’, ‘little green man’, ‘orange envelope’ etc.
There are times when I get glazed expressions directly after I’ve said ‘right click’, 'hover' or ‘taskbar’, even ‘desktop’ is foreign to one or two of them.

I still have to remember how three systems differ while giving ‘right click’ instructions over the phone or via Windows Live Messenger. We have thankfully, recently managed to drop Millennium Edition so I’ve deleted that from my hard drive forgotten the settings for it. But someone I know - of advanced years [by computer standards] - has jumped straight in at Windows 7, and now I’ve discovered that it’s no use saying ‘click on the little green man at the bottom right’, when explaining how to find out when her contacts are online. Windows 7 has stupidly ‘pinned’ stuff to ‘the bottom bit’ aka the taskbar [not on mine though as I've beaten it into submission and got my familiar quicklaunch back - yes I know it's a backwards step but I'm getting old, we don't like change].

Of course, all this time I've been thinking that I'm perfectly normal and it's all the others that are at odds with the world ... until now that is. Yes, I've discovered that it’s me that’s out of sync and not them, because the other day when my beautiful marquise cut champagne diamond ring was being admired I heard myself proudly announcing - somewhat breathlessly ... ‘Aren't I lucky? It's a whole MEGABYTE!’ …

It’s A Beige Thing!

I was just doing the ironing - I’m one of the few people I know who doesn’t mind ironing, but then I never have a lot to do as there’s only two of us, plus I drift off into my own little world.

I noticed that three tops I ironed one after the other were all from Peacocks, ‘hmm’, I thought, ‘I’ve not bought anything from there in ages - and when did I last go to Next or New Look ... was it even this century?!’

Next up were a pair of cords from Bon Marche - YIKES!!! They’re beige, with comfy side elastication! When did this happen to me?

I stood there while my colour drained away [I went a bit of a beigy shade], mentally going through my wardrobe for items in beige:-

1. comfy cords
2. not so comfy, wedgie-bum jeans [I had been thinking of throwing these away]
3. 3 pairs cropped trousers
4. 2 pairs shorts
5. fleece
6. gilet
7. sleeveless top
   
8. short sleeved cardigan
   
9. a very long cardigan
10. sandals
11. trainers
12. shoes
    
13. 3 bags

They were the ones I could instantly bring to mind. When did this happen? Do our brains turn to mush at a certain age, telling us that we look good in beige?

And when did the transition from Peacocks to Bon Marche happen? Oh I say! I’ve even got a Bon Marche loyalty card. I'm just one small step away from shopping in the Marks and Spencers section of elasticated waist trousers in some crimpleny, polyester non-crease stuff in varying leg lengths.

It must be shopping with my crumbly friend that has aged me - yet she doesn’t wear beige and people comment on how elegant yet trendy she looks - that’s my influence on her I’ll have you know!

OH NO!! I dyed my hair yesterday - it’s beige.

Even worse - the grumpy old man has finally proposed to me and we’re getting engaged on my birthday [just an excuse for a ring]. I was cruising t’interweb for diamond rings after looking in all the jewellers at Skegness and rather a lot more in Nottingham, when ‘Champagne Diamonds’ caught my eye.

Yes, he’s bought me one - and hidden it away until the big day. It’s really, really lovely - but ‘Champagne’ is just another word for bloody BEIGE! …