Name Confusion

I was asked to print a copy of 'A Game Of Bowls' post for our next-door-but-one caravan neighbours, as they'd read Betty's copy and wanted their own - sad people. Anyway, I'm quite obliging and to save myself having to get the printer out again in the near future I decided to print a few of my posts - the ones that didn't involve Asda because no-one in their right mind wants to read my rants about them.

I saved them in 'Word' before printing as it was easier to get more tripe squeezed into one page. I noticed along the way that I hadn't gone back to remove all the offending ampersands [&] as I'd promised. I did a bit of that while I was copying and pasting so couldn't help reading a few of my own posts. Even I had a titter occasionally because I'd completely forgotten about at least half of them [just as well sometimes].

One in particular made me laugh when the grumpy old man had started calling me Judy. I reminded him of this last night and asked him if he could remember why he'd taken to calling me by a different name.

'Well,' he said. 'When you get a bit older, you start to forget names ... Anyway, you're nearly as bad as me - just look how often you call me Twat' ...

Losing The Plot - And Not Even 50 Yet!

We were going out for tea yesterday; to celebrate some small, noisy persons Birthday. As I was getting ready I thought I'd give my pits a quick squirt. I'll try this new anti-perspirant ... Hmm, I wonder why I bought it when I've already got a new one waiting?

Shake, squirt - it's not coming out very well - s-q-u-i-r-t. Yes, it was lovely ... and ever so foamy. It wasn't anti-perspirant at all but Imperial Leather foamburst - and it lived up to its name!

I could have been forgiven for this misunderstanding if I'd bought it weeks ago and put it away, rather than having bought it only the day before and knowing full well what it was at the time.

I have a system when I unpack the bags after shopping. Everything is put on the worktop in the appropriate place in the kitchen, then I just reach up or down to put it away. The upstairs stuff goes in one carrier bag to be taken up by whoever goes up first, then it gradually reaches the rooms it's intended for.

Not this time - the G.O.M went up first and instead of dumping the bag on the bed for me to sort out as he normally does; he thought he'd do me a favour by putting things away - which reminds me, what's he done with my other - um - stuff?

There's foam everywhere! I rinsed it off my person and wiped it off my clothes - am I the only one who gets changed then thinks it's a good idea to freshen up the old armpits? There's sweet smelling foam all down the cupboard door where I reached in for a towel, down the side of the bath, there's a blob behind the sink taps, there were several blobs along the route I took [rubbed into the carpets now] from the bedroom to the bathroom, and down the stairs when I went to tell the G.O.M what I'd done, even though I'd supposedly got it all off by then.

I say 'there's foam everywhere', in the present tense because I've left it to see how long it takes to disappear [I'm like that] - it's getting on my nerves now though, so as soon as I've finished this post I intend to de-foam ...