Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Me And Zumba ;)

I was at Center Parcs last November (honeymoon) when I announced that I was going to have a Wii with Zumba for Christmas. This was received, as you'd expect - knowing my allergy to any form of exercise - with much hilarity.

I was as good as my word. I didn't go to enormous expense because I too suspected it'd be another brief but frenetic interlude in my life. So, over the next couple of weeks I watched several auctions on eBay until the right one came up at the right price. This only took three attempts until I was successful ... Ooooh heck, what have I done?

Despite the fact that I wrapped the large box containing the Wii, zumba and associated bits and bobs, I managed to look surprised when I opened it at Christmas ... 'Ooooh, look at that ... what's that bit for? ... where the hell do I wear that? It'll never fit around my waist ... oh, phew it's for my thigh'.

Anyway, come December 28th, the Wii was plumbed into the dining room telly, I wore my new bright pink Zaggora top and navy and pink cropped britches. I looked ahem, lovely.

Twenty minutes later and I was dying. I'd shaken my bits, waddled up and down and shimmied hither and thither. My outfit was stuck to me and I had to lie down in a pool of sweat until my heart stopped pounding.

'I can't do this again', I panted, 'it's horrible'. But I did do it again, the following day ... and then over the next couple of weeks, I did it a few more times. Was it any easier? Hmmm, no it wasn't, at first. And it was patently obvious to me that they've speeded that Wii woman up, no-one can move that fast and she must have been suspended on wires.

I tripped over my feet, hit my knuckles on the dining table, knocked over a glass of squash, banged my glasses onto my nose and shoveled my boobs back into my top several times after they decanted themselves ... I need a better bra here methinks.

A better bra was bought ... a level 4 bra, designed specifically for really vigorous exercise or huge boobs. It is a brilliant bra, nothing moves, I can jump up and down, swing upside down from the light fittings and I swear my boobs wouldn't be flapping about around my face.

Alas, after two 45 minute sessions of Zumba I can no longer wear it. Yes it's brilliant, too brilliant, all the weight of the boobs is now on my shoulders and they simply can't take it. They were agony.

I'm already not wafting my arms about as much as the instructor because I can't stand to hear the grinding and crunching from my shoulders, and they were getting sore, it would only be a matter of time before it spread to my neck and I'd be in real trouble then.

Did you notice at all that I'd gone from 20 mins to 45 mins just then? Oh, you did ... very observant.

Yes, I realised after two weeks that I was hardly out of breath after a 20 minute session, never mind not sweating, so I upped it to 45 mins. This is OK methinks but getting a tad boring now. I know all the moves - this doesn't mean I can do them - and frequently tell the instructor off for missing out a couple of steps. So I tried the expert levels.

Oh no, I didn't like that at all. It's a mister instructor. I know he can't see me but I feel like I can't enjoy it the same with a man telling me what to do. He had to go and I went back to 'intermediate' where I was happier.

I do my Zumba first thing in a morning - yes, I do mean first thing in MY morning so it could be anything after 10.00am - 45 mins on my three fasting days and 20 mins on three of my eating days before breakfast - I have one day off for good behaviour. I've read that exercise before eating is more beneficial because you burn your fat instead of carbs even if you consume them later.

All in all I am enjoying Zumba, I knew I'd got to find a form of exercise that didn't actually feel like exercise or I'd rebel against it and sit down with my arms crossed and bottom lip stuck out. I feel fitter at 53 than I ever did at 33 with years of sluggishness in-between.

I've had to be realistic and change some of the moves slightly to suit me and my - very nearly - middle age. I miss some jumps because of a dodgy left knee and as I've said, high arm wafting is out and I've learnt to mostly keep my arms below shoulder height. But ... to compensate for my shortcomings, I wiggle everything else that little bit more. I still trip over my feet and bump into things but I am innately clumsy anyway.

Another benefit of me Zumba-ing endlessly across the same patch of floor means that the floorboards no longer need polishing. Ahem, this would be fine if the dining room wasn't carpeted ;)

I may have to give up the Zumba-ing fairly soon though ... there's this man I know who keeps admiring my bum in its little white shorts when he passes me going one way. Not only that but he's taken to patting my bum on his way back. This is clearly harassment ...


  1. Me and Alternate Day Fasting
  2. Me and Alternate Day Fasting ... Three Weeks On
  3. Five Weeks of Alternate Day Fasting
  4. Eight Weeks of Alternate Day Fasting
  5. Ten Weeks of Alternate Day Fasting
  6. Alternate Day Fasting Three Months On
  7. Alternate Day Fasting in Winter
  8. Alternate Day Fasting Over Christmas
  9. Me and Zumba
  10. Saying Goodbye To My Curves 
  11. Eight Months Of Alternate Day Fasting And Me
  12. Growing Up 
  13. A Year Of Alternate Day Fasting 
  14. 60 Pounds Of Blubber - Vanished
  15. The Perils of Alternate Day Fasting 
  16. Mr Grumpy Is Losing It
  17. Mr Grumpy Has Lost It
  18. Fasting For Maintenance
  19. Tweaking Maintenance
  20. Weight Gain 
  21. Still Maintaining
  22. Four Years Of Intermittent Fasting

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