Thursday, 29 May 2014

Come and Hold This ...

Next time Mr Grumpy says ... "come and hold this", remind me to tell him to go and boil his head.

I went and held this ... which was in fact a ladder; so he could put up another bird feeder ... I was holding on to said ladder and standing on the bottom rung as ballast - as per my instructions - whilst watching the blue tits and listening to the babies in the box nearby ... then he stepped down onto my finger ... and it was my fault.

My finger is huge and blue and is most fortunate NOT to be adorned with rings or I'd have needed them cutting off.

He wasn't satisfied with this though ... oh no, not by a long chalk:

I had actually rushed out of bed and thrown some clothes on to go and help him with the ladder, because instead of sitting still like a good husband first thing in MY morning, he was pacing up and down with seed, nuts and water for the feeders and just generally hovering at the bedroom door saying things like ... "whenever, you're ready ... no rush". Yeah, right.

So, after assaulting my finger and blaming me for HOLDING the effin ladder, I went back in to have my shower - whilst nursing my oh so poorly finger ... "Oops" he declared from the other side of the shower curtain ... "I've flushed the loo" - an absolute no no in the tin hut when someone - well, me to be exact - is showering. So there I stood, bracing myself with finger held aloft, as my extremities sizzled under the rather hot water ... and I called him a tw*t.

Then shortly after this we went for a walk at Gibraltar Point, he took me down a footpath so he could feed the birds there ... "Ooh, it's a bit overgrown" he declared while I'm battling - still holding my poorly finger up - with the effin nettles. "OUCH! my knees" ...  "Oh dear, I'll find you a dock leaf" he told me, while bustling past me and pushing me against yet more nettles.

I have to wonder how I'd have fared if he wasn't so thoughtful ... 


  1. Firstly I must shower you and your poor finger with sympathy.
    I was going to ask if it is your 'nose picking' finger and then offer alternative suggestions but then I read the bit about rings. :)
    ".....and blaming me for HOLDING the effin ladder."
    This is where the violins stop playing. :)
    It probably was your fault, after all your eyes were nearer to your finger than his. (unless he has a third eye you know where!).
    The other thing is that you were not holding the effin ladder in the correct way. If you watch 'ladder experts' and steeple-jacks like Fred Dibnah, you will notice they never hold the rungs of a ladder. They always hold the sides. Firstly this avoids getting muck on your hands, and secondly it ...........(but of course you now know this from experience.)
    Violins start playing again and I offer more sympathy.
    Cheers B xxx (and a 'get-better' x for your poor finger.)

    1. Hello Bernard,

      Yes if anyone was to blame it was me. But that is exactly what irks me, I didn't go looking to blame anyone, I just considered it an accident until he pointed out it was my fault.

      But he was duly contrite later ... which is just as well, because when we got home he said ... "WILL you come and hold this?" ... and off he went up the ladder to cut down some wisteria that had grown around the sky dish.

      Of course I held the sides of THIS ladder as I always do - whilst trying to avoid the razor sharp pampas grass that was tickling my chin - because I've watched Fred Dibnah tha' knows.

      I was holding on to a rung at the tin hut because the ladder he uses there is an old rickety home made job with splinters sticking out on the sides but has smoother worn 'rungs' ... so in fact it's his fault ;)


Be nice, I'm very sensitive.