Christmas Present Wrapping

One's husband made himself busy wrapping one's Christmas pressies today - bless him.

While this marathon task was happening I wandered into the bedroom carrying fresh out of the dryer - are we ironing these? not on your Nelly, it's Christmas - clothes, and I was told not to look ... so I didn't.

Then he came downstairs with one wrapped item, again I was told "don't look". In fact, he went as far as to turn my head the other way. He nearly got my duster stuffed up his nose. Then when said item had been placed in the living room I was told that I HAD to go and look NOW! Even though I know exactly what it is, so had no idea why I had to go and 'admire' this, ahem, mystery present.

For the next hour I could hear paper being torn and the sellotape machine whizzing away and he was making his usual - I'm working so hard "phew" noises - and then he shouted down to me ... "it's never ending this lot".

Well, it serves him right. I bought everything myself and stuck it in a box for him to wrap well over two weeks ago.

Uho, we've now had an "oh dear, I'll be glad when I've done this, I'm sweating" ... moan.

At least he won't be doing anything dopy like wrapping the envelopes I'd bought last year for the Christmas cards I was making - which never got finished as mum died last year on 9th Dec, the day before her 75th birthday. And then we had to take dad into the hospice for Christmas straight after her funeral on the 20th, so life then was a bit of a blur - and I'd accidentally left the envelopes in with my bag of pressies so he wrapped 'em. I still can't believe he did that ...

Three - Pain in the Derrière

After successfully fending off seven phone calls in the last four days from the Three network - I asked Google who was calling me - I finally gave in and answered my phone

"Hello, I'm calling from Three, your network provider" ... "yeah" ... "am I speaking to Mrs W?" ... "yes and no, I've changed my name to Mrs something else" ... "OK, Mrs W, ma'am, as you're such a privileged customer of Three, I've got some offers just for you" ... "I've changed my name" ... "I must tell you first that this call may be recorded for training purposes" ... "yeah, and I'm recording it for stopping annoying phone call purposes".

"Ma'am can I ask what phones and networks other members of your are family on? ... Blah blah blah.
Tuning back in two mins later after telling her grumpy does NOT need to join Three with a fabby new phone on any kind of contract ...

"What type of touch phone (her words) would you like ma'am, Android or Windows? ... "Android" ... any particular phone ma'am, Mrs W?" ... "I rather fancy the Samsung galaxy s5 mini" ... "oh, that's a lovely choice Mrs W, ma'am, but what I can offer you ma'am is Samsung galaxy s5 for £28 month with nothing to pay up front" ... "I don't want a Samsung s5, it's too big" ... "but it's screen is 5 inches ma'am" ... "I don't want 5 inches, I want 4.3 or 4.5 maximum" ... "it's unlocked, I'm sure you know what that means ma'am" ... "I don't want it" ... "You can use it as a hotspot, it's got 4g, 600 mins, unlimited texts, free 0800 calls, cheap 0845 calls. Ma'am you're privileged as an excellent customer" ... "I don't want it, I'm ending this call now, goodbye" ... "witter, witter ma'am ...

My Christmas Grotto

Saturday:
I'd had to buy a new phone as my poor old Samsung Galaxy s2 - aka Freddy - was starting to fail. Sadly it died today, and ironically almost the very last thing it did for me was to check the whereabouts of my soon to be Samsung Galaxy s5 mini in electric blue.

I tried to revive Freddy using my usual method of hoiking out the battery, making rash promises about not dropping him on the floor daily and alternating between threatening to throw him at the wall and giving him the kiss of life. Alas he didn't respond other than getting hot, so I've had to accept that he's gone to Galaxy heaven ... RIP Freddy Phone.

Monday:
My fabulous phone that I'd ordered from Dubai - thus making it over £100 cheaper - arrived today, therefore I was busy tweaking ... no time for Christmas decorations.

Tuesday:
My fabby new phone - aka Truffles - has now been rooted. I could no longer cope with being so restricted on what I could do with it ... even less time for Christmas decorations other than fetching them from the attic to the back bedroom.

Wednesday:
Not entirely sure I'm happy with my fabby new phone. Got back in the car at Newark after traipsing around town for HOURS. And the pedometer thingy just popped up to tell me I'd achieved 50% of my target FOR THE DAY!  Well, that can just sod off!!

Hmmm, I suppose I could have sat shaking my phone while I drank my Guinness and ate my philly steak sandwich, chips and onion rings, but I didn't want to smear it up with cheese and pepper sauce. I will try harder tomorrow ... to do the other 5,000 steps.

Thursday:
As Christmas was fetched from the attic Tuesday afternoon with the aid of my butler/chauffeur. This morning 3/4 of it - still two mega-humungous cartons to bring down - has made its way to the dining room.

I did this all by myself, whilst the aforementioned butler/chauffeur did important stuff ... checking his bets and blood pressure - not necessarily in that order.

I forgot to have my new super duper smartarse phone about my person so I don't know how many effin steps I've done. I estimate at least 15,000 so that's finished yesterday off, and I've covered today's steps already - never mind that it only says 471 - I'm good.

Later the same day:

I finished grottoing the front room, except I need a new candle bridge doodah, mine has given up the ghost but I have had it since I was at Aristoc - about 20 years ago - so can't complain. I also decorated the kitchen and dining room, except for my snowy village, I always do that the day after as it takes ages and I get snow everywhere.

After I finally sat down, hours and hours later, Grumpy took it upon himself to tell me my cross stitched Santas picture wasn't straight. I told him ... "you go up the stepladders once and it gives you the right to pick fault" ... git!

Friday:
I did the village. Maybe you can tell I love Christmas decorations.

I wouldn't mind doing all this if it didn't seem like it was only last week when I put it all away. I'm not bothering next year, it can all stop up because:

a. I'm not here most of the summer.
b. no one visits me so it doesn't matter ...