The money will be given to - 'ease community tension' - what tension? was I out that day, did I miss something? I have to say that from how the report read, our village - yes we've got village status this week instead of town - seems to be getting this money because we're a miserable bunch who don't think we get on well with people from other backgrounds - what backgrounds? Are we talking religion, race or class?
And in the next sentence it said 'Only 64% feel they belong to their local area' - so what exactly are we in Langley Mill - racists, Christians, peasants or immigrants? It's not very clear.
But it does say that the money is from the government's 'Connecting Communities pot' which wants to find out why we need the policies of extremist and right wing parties - do we, who says so? It was pointed out that the borough had two BNP councillors [out of 47] - but they're not in Langley Mill, so why is this relevant? - Oh I see - we're racists. And there was me thinking that maybe they were referring to us being from a 'working class background' - and we didn't like toffs.
Just to clarify matters - I come from a coal mining/we're all t'same colour down t'pit and if owt goes wrong, we pray to any God that's listening. Partly Jewish/God was a spaceman - background. I can't help it, I didn't choose my parents/step-parent, I'm nothing like them - I'm nearly normal.
Ahem, I digress, where was I?
Two people will be paid until the end of March 2010 so they can tell us what's going on in the area and to involve us. Residents will be 'trained' to act as community leaders - oh, I thought that's what we had local councillors for, silly me for getting it wrong.
I suppose if we all know everything that's happening, I'll lose my job of recycling rumours for the amusement of my friends. But then I'll have time to make up some really outrageous ones instead - much more fun.
There's more [and better] information on the Amber Valley Borough council website, with a phone number and an email address for those of us who want to get involved. It's probably a very good idea, it's just a shame they think we need it. I can't really see that this £77,000 is going to make much of an impact on my life - unless they give it all to me so that I can afford to leave - seeing as I'm obviously living among 36% of racist immigrants who don't feel we belong to our local area.
Yes - I can say that, 'cos I'm a Langley Mill immigrant - who feels entirely at home - in Skegness ...