Langley Mill’s Christmas Lights

We went out the other night, to gaze with wonder upon Langley Mill's Christmas lights, now I’m not talking fancy stuff, just coloured bulbs strung up between lampposts. It’s not much but it cheers the place up. We have them on Cromford Road - across from the bottom of Bridge Street. Then more at The Acorn Centre, and again outside The Jockey pub.

Er, where are they?

We're reduced to two individual efforts on lampposts, one at the Jockey and one at the Acorn Centre, where's all our bulbs gone? We’re used to the council workers coming in November to put the poles up, then they arrive a couple of weeks later with our lights. November came and went and there was no sign of the pole erectors, so we thought maybe they’d put them and the lights up at the same time this year.

Wrong.

There also used to be two trees at the edge of the Railway Tavern car park that were always decked with white lights every Christmas, that is until someone chopped both trees down one January [about three years ago – with the lights still on them].

It’s long been established that Heanor’s Christmas lights are naff, but because they're never switched on until the first Monday in December, they're not on - and working - long enough for us to moan about. But this year I think Langley Mill - who regularly seem to get Heanor’s cast offs, has reached an all-time low.

We’ve had a ride through other towns and villages in the past week and I can only say that I’m ashamed of our lights. The only ones we’ve got that are worth talking about are the Christmas trees near Lidl, and I think they’re only there to show Eastwood that we’ve got some - and have paid our electric bill. I’m thinking of asking Broxtowe council if we can tag on to Eastwood, as their lights - as usual - are quite nice, I wouldn't mind their cast-offs.

We used to put lights up on the front of our house - I like to get the grumpy old man up the ladder every so often, it reminds him that there are two sides to each window that needs cleaning.

I once stupidly put some quite expensive lights on the bushes in our front, ahem, garden. That is until some t**ts thought they’d amuse themselves over three consecutive nights pulling odd bulbs out and throwing them on the bridge. It was a bugger of a job trying to find out what was wrong with them; seeing first one colour go off then the next day another until we were down to only one colour. It wasn’t until I took the dog for a walk over t'bridge that we realised what the little b*****ds had done ...