Sunday, 23 October 2011

Our 2011 Center Parcs Holiday

I'm not going to go through all the pros and cons of Center Parcs [Sherwood Forest] because I've already done it in a previous post. I wouldn't even have bothered writing this were it not for my grumpy old man's latest faux pas.

I will however, mention that this time we stayed [eight of us] in an executive lodge rather than one of those cheaper peasant sheds [I really must stop calling them that, it's rubbing off]. We had four en-suite bedrooms, two with big rainforest showers and two with posh baths that lit up and blew bubbles up your bum.

All of the bedrooms had LCD TV's, as did the games room and lounge area. Two of the bedrooms had balconies with tables and chairs, plus - in my case - damp towels and my camera tripod. We also had our own sauna - phew, was it hot in there!

Again we had maid service, which we didn't avail ourselves of - apart from towel changes - this is because we decided that we were far too untidy to let the maid in. It'd be no good any of my family getting rich and having staff to 'do' for them because they wouldn't know how not to tidy up first. I would, however - being a bit [ok, a lot] more domestically challenged than the rest of my family - be prepared to get used to having cleaning staff if I come in to money.

Anyway, on to the reason for me writing this short ... er, biography. You know, it always starts off as one paragraph or at the most two ... then I get carried away:

Ahem, my GOM's latest 'foot in mouth' came when we were in the swimwear shop next to the dome, I'd been in the day before - after a few splashes around the rapids - and spotted a tankini I liked but wasn't carrying any money. This time I was going to try and hopefully buy - to add it to my collection of [six] others.

The only one in my size was gone, boo hoo. I turned to grumpy and said ... 'Somewhere in there [pointing to the dome and waggling my finger], there's a fat woman walking around in my tankini!'

Reply ... 'yes there is' ...


  1. Todays tune is - "I wouldn't leave, my little wooden hut for yooooo".
    This bit about 'not tidying up first' reminded me of my old Gran. She would always tidy up and Hoover around just before her homehelp was due to arrive!

  2. Hmm, fortunately I don't know that one.

    However, I was chauffeured into town today for some retail therapy. We listened to crumbly music on the way - as you do - and I ended up stuck with 'Ave Maria'.

    Seeing as I know roughly two words of this song - 'Ave' and 'Maria', there was lots of 'dee dee dums' and much 'la la lahing' in the shops - sotto voce of course.

    At least - unlike my grumpy old man - the last song I heard wasn't 'Wild Wind'. He also knows exactly two of the words to this song, yes you are correct - 'Wild' and 'Wind'.

    He has taken to regularly bursting into song with just these two words - not sotto voce, because he wouldn't know how - and no 'la la lahs' or 'dee dee dums' to pad it out a bit. It really gets on your nerves after about the eighth time ...

  3. A lass sings 'Wooden hut' for yoooooo.
    You are of course much, much too young to remember these songs. Actually they were before my time too, it's just that my Dad used to sing them to us when we were nippers. (in Brum.)


Be nice, I'm very sensitive.