The Nightmares Have Begun

My regular readers will know that We've been to Ripley and booked our wedding ... OMG OMG OMG!!!!

Excuse my hysteria but time is whizzing past and the day will soon be upon us ... AAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

I really must calm down, but I have to report that I'm well into the nightmare stage, where everything that can go wrong, DOES go wrong ... it's HORRIBLE and in glorious technicolor.

I've had to wake grumpy up to tell him about my dreams because we all know this prevents it from happening. Then I've had to retell him again during the day to make sure he's got it.

So far ... and these things are NOT going to happen because I've told anyone who hasn't been able to avoid me:

1. We're late and can't find anywhere to park the car (ooer does Ripley have a fair? where is it? when is it? ... HECK!).
2. We've forgotten the rings.
3. ditto chequebook and ...
4. The paper with our choice of words.
5. The CD - the less said about our choice of music the better, I'm already furious that I've never heard it in years and now at the 11th hour an advert has pinched it - but not to worry because ...
6. ... the speakers don't work.
7. It rains and NOTHING I'm wearing or carrying is colourfast.
8. My stockings/stay ups have rolled down my legs.
9. My dress has split.
10. All the beads fall off my dress.
11. My dress doesn't fit (yet) - this is true and probably accounts for numbers 9 and 10.
12. My hair and make-up are a total disaster.
13. My bouquet falls apart.
14. I lose both it and my engagement ring at the same time, hmmm
15. The groom can't remember how to do a Windsor knot in his tie ...

Hang on a minute though, I was awake for number 15. In fact I was having my breakfast in bed this morning and was being treated to a fashion - cough - show by my grumpy old man in his new suit and lovely spiffingly EXPENSIVE silk tie. After fifteen minutes I'd text everyone about his dilemma (I'm like that - proper nasty). Then I made him practice on an old tie ... this took another twenty minutes before we had a eureka moment.

I have to ask myself ... is it really worth it? ...