Back Home To Large Piles and Big Jams

Well, we've had mountains on the front and now we have hillocks on the back. It seems that RG Group are yet again rearranging piles of earth and now stashing them behind us - which means that as well as construction noise on the front, there's 'let's unload this and shove it here' noise [from before 7.30am] on the back, it's relentless - bleep-bloody-bleep - it's as bad [if not worse] as when H-effin-H and their pain-in-the-arse buddies were here!

So, as a complete change from living in the middle of a scrap yard, we now live in the middle of a building site whinge, whinge, moan.

They've now put the sides on the Asda building, it's not what you'd call pretty - yet, and my view of the back end of Netto has gone, I'm really, really sad about that - not. But, oh boo hoo, there's hardly any trees to be seen.

We went shopping to Eastwood on Saturday and when we came back were astonished to see the queue of cars trying to get onto the bypass. The queue extended as far as I could see down Upper Dunstead Road [as we flashed past at 30mph]. I have to wonder if people had been made aware that anything van sized or less could get out of the bottom of Cromford Road [turning left] all weekend. We noticed that there wasn't much traffic coming our way so can only assume that it was either a brand new idea or a big secret.

Having since been that way around whilst visiting friends, the fact that Cromford Road was open had obviously been Langley Mill's best kept secret - or a mistake - as the signs still stated that Cromford Road was only open at peak times of 5.30pm - 9.30am - and the road was indeed closed again this morning. Tut, still a case of nobody telling anybody else what's going on - and I can't be relied upon to relay information because ... well, I'm unreliable at the best of times ...

Asda Langley Mill Opening

Asda's new [24 hour] store in Langley Mill opens Monday November 8th 2010 - just after my birthday. You'd think with me being such a, ahem, loyal advocate of theirs, they'd let me open it wouldn't you? No ... oh well it was just a thought ...

Langley Mill's Temporary Road Diversions

Go to www.asdalangleymill.co.uk/home for their latest update on traffic management [and a link to a nice little map]. Asda clearly lay the blame for the inept TM system at the door of Derbyshire County Council. They also say the roadworks will last for 8-10 weeks.

And before Asda and RG Group think they're getting off scot free in this latest moan; they can think again. Why have they decided to start work most days from 7.15 in the mornings, instead of the Council guidelines of 8.00am - or is this just a case of tit for tat with the council?

Oh dear ... RG Group have now passed through 'noisy gits' status and are hovering between the 'pains in the arse' and 'ignorant sods' categories - tut tut, they have slipped a long way down in my 'considerate to the community' ratings - and they were doing so well a couple of months ago

I suppose to be honest, I'd be a little more peeved at the early morning noise if I'd actually been at home listening to it myself. But seeing as we left Langley Mill for our tin hut by the sea at 5.30am on Monday July 5th - oops ... before my traffic updates [ha ha] - I'm obviously writing this in sympathy for my friends and neighbours who have had to put up with Asda's construction noise all day, every day ...

Badger Watch At Skegness

Last time we were at 'the manor' the grumpy old man looked through the one of the lounge windows at 12.20am and was astonished to see a badger. I - being me - went out for a close up view of them, fortunately they didn't see me because of their poor eyesight and twinkle-toes that I am, they didn't hear me. But I have to ask myself why I did this barefoot considering how many slugs were in the vicinity - ugh, the thought of it now makes me shudder but at the time I just didn't notice.

Of course my camera which has always completely baffled me with it's various settings, ensured that I didn't manage to get any photos that night - unless you count the fuzzy grey and black blobs. I should really have been ready for this event after an owl posed nicely a couple of years ago for five whole minutes with not one recognisable photograph to show for it.

Anyway, I stayed up until 1.00am for the next two nights - yawn - armed with my now tweaked and beaten into submission Samsung L830 - and yes, I read a few instructions after downloading the manual [this has to be a first, I don't do instructions] - no badgers, but the fox made an appearance each time.

Oooer, I've just put the news on to see that they've stopped the badger cull in Wales [I'm waiting for the Asda traffic bit in Langley Mill]. I can hardly believe the coincidence, I've been going to write this for weeks and finally got around to it today - spooky, but I mean ... well bugger! that was to be one of my grumpy bits.

I'm a bit sort of deflated now albeit extremely happy for the badgers. Sorry farmers, there must be another way of controlling bovine TB rather than killing our indigenous wildlife. It's not like they're premeditatedly schmoozing up to cows and deliberately infecting them now is it?

I'd read about the proposed badger cull when I was searching on-line for what to feed them [apparently they like honey sandwiches and peanuts], and decided there and then that this was something I could and would be grumpy about in my badger post, I mean it's not even been proved that culling badgers significantly decreases the cases of bovine TB.

Even worse, I also read about badger baiting - against my own advice [because I know I won't sleep thinking about it] - where supposed human beings [trash] find bizarre entertainment in setting dogs onto badgers, not once but twice, first they drag them out in the day to thoroughly traumatize them with a good shaking, then again later to be ripped apart - all good fun isn't it? SICK BASTARDS! - and I make no apologies for swearing.

Right back to my badger watch - on the third night we were treated to not one but two badgers, who obligingly posed for my camera. Although their eyesight is poor, the same can't be said for their hearing, it's very sharp which is a bit of a bugger because the grumpy old man doesn't know how to whisper, sending them dashing off as soon as he opens his mouth.

I tapped on the window of the caravan next door every time the badgers had settled down to eat [they were still up, we don't do early to bed around here], but even that gentle tapping sent the badgers running so our neighbours didn't get to see them in the flesh until the fourth night.

The badgers came every night after that munching on a handful of peanuts that we'd spread out, it was probably dropped bird seed next to the fence that had attracted them in the first place. One night alas, I missed a potentially fantastic photo of a fox and badger face to face. But my nosy cat sitting on the windowsill, started an odd growling and the fox turned back the way it came, funnily enough she sits quietly for ages watching the badgers but has a hissy fit whenever the fox passes by.

We consider ourselves very privileged to have seen - and heard - the badgers and hope they come often to give us more late night viewing. We're lucky to have the many birds, ducks, rabbits and squirrels visiting during the days, and now the badgers at night. Our family and friends have suggested that we keep feeding them to make sure they get to see them when they stay at 'the manor' with us.

Hmm, In view of all this 'free' entertainment, I may have to start charging more board for our select lodgings [yeah, yeah, we've already done the tin shack in an old turnip field bit] in a wildlife reserve. So, may I suggest that as well as the customary charge of a box of teabags and bag of sugar - you bring your own nuts ...

Langley Mill's Traffic Management Improvements - Thanks To Our Wonderful COUNCIL

And if you believe that title you'll believe anything.

There was a moderate improvement this morning, people were able to get out from the bottom of Cromford Road, round the lights at KFC/Lidl and back through Langley Mill, rather than having to add to the queue at Lower Dunstead Road [info courtesy of my neighbour, who also makes all the phone calls].

Things were also quieter getting onto the bypass from Aldercar [info courtesy of June]. Let's hope this continues. As she also says, people were probably leaving home earlier so journeys were staggered rather than everyone bogging down the crappy diversion system at the same time. This could have been done from day one if people had been properly made aware.

The council really were not interested in sorting out this mess, Langley Mill has always been regarded with an 'Oh it's only Langley Mill, it doesn't matter' attitude by the council, probably down to our industrial past and our Nottinghamshire postcode - I'm all for dragging the border back a bit and jumping counties.

It's only down to RG Group's construction manager that any improvements have been made at all - and these concessions were grudgingly given.

Trent Barton - the information on your website is still back to front as to which way is straight through Langley Mill.

I really must do some work now or I won't be able to afford to pay my council tax ...

Update on Langley Mill's 'Minimal Delays'

Right, first of all:

It's no use blaming Asda or RG Group for the traffic chaos in and around Langley Mill, although you're free to do so if you like, but it seems their hands are tied by 'them what know better' - Highways Agency or Derbyshire County Council, as the work is their responsibility [or so I've read].

Apparently there may be a couple of concessions made regards the end of Cromford Road being opened at peak times - I only say 'may'.

Things should be improved at the bottom of Dunstead Road regards parked cars causing an obstruction, cones have been placed and the owners offered alternative parking.

Other than that, things remain the same mess ... Remember Eastwood to Heanor - direct route, Heanor to Eastwood - interesting detour. Cromford Road etc - hard luck - no bus - no escape - start digging a tunnel.

I was peeved about my lack of residents newsletter, I know they often arrive dated the day after the job commences but this was a biggy for everyone concerned. Apologies have been made and accepted so we're happy again. Just as long as we get our newsletter at the top of the street first next time - and printed on watermarked paper with gilt edging.

You know, I think it's time I stuck to my day job and left this to someone else - someone who is paid to know what they're talking about. Rather than little old me - a lovely, sweet, grumpy lady ... All right, own up - who just called me 'a nosy old bag' ? ...

Gridlock In Langley Mill

'Slight' and 'Minimal' impact on journey time - my arse!

Langley Mill has now been brought to a standstill ...

From what I understand - I may be wrong, it did happen once before - hmm, oh, years ago now - DERBYSHIRE COUNTY COUNCIL took the decision to use the current method of traffic management through Langley Mill against advice after the traffic surveys were done.

I've heard reports of people taking an hour and half round trip to get children to school. North, Ebenezer and Thompson Streets were being used as shortcuts because of the gridlock at the bottom of Lower Dunstead Road, but this has now been stopped.

3/4 hour trip from Eastwood to Heanor - supposedly straight through, 20 minutes from half way up Mansfield Road to Lower Dunstead Road. Not good is it councillors, I do hope you weren't passing through Langley Mill on your way anywhere.

Did anyone at any point in this crass TM decision making consider the emergency services and how they'd get through Langley Mill? Flashing lights and sirens are next to useless in a gridlock.

I've just found out ASDA and RG GROUP, that whatever idle sod you sent with the residents newsletters the other day to tell us about the roadworks - and no way out of Cromford Road onto Station Road - only got as far as 32 Bridge Street and didn't bother with us from 34-72.

So far, I've given nothing but praise for how well you've kept us informed on each phase of the works being undertaken, but this is clearly NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!

From what I've been told now, the council and RG Group are having a meeting to sort the chaos out. Why oh why don't you just let someone with some sense do it - like a woman?

Watch this space ...

Asda Roadworks in Langley Mill

For the latest 2011 roadworks in Langley Mill, please follow this link.

I've seen varying time scales [1st June - 22nd September covers them all] and varying amounts of disruption for the coming??? roadworks in Langley Mill for the new Asda roundabout or BT's chamber underneath it ... er, whatever.

According to my sources - hey, I like that, makes me sound important - Langley Mill's roadworks are only classed as 'slight impact' and 'minimal impact' on journey times, so stop moaning.

From 5th July there is no through road beyond Wesley Street from Heanor, so I'm assuming they'd like everyone who wants to get through Langley Mill [and who doesn't?] to go up Dunstead Road - the sign telling us this bit of info is just before the traffic lights there - and then onto the A610 ... busy, busy, busy. 

And there's a sign saying no access onto Cromford Road from the Eastwood direction. It doesn't say anywhere down here that we can't get out at the end of Cromford Road onto Station Road [but probably not].

The grumpy old man has made enquires to see if there is still a way through from Cromford Road for pedestrians to the Post Office etc. [yeah, I think he meant bookies too], he was told that pedestrians would still be able to get that way.

I strongly suspect there may be another sign at the more nobby junction of Upper Dunstead Road and Cromford Road to tell passing motorists that we're closed to the rest of the world, but as mere peasants residents, we're left to guess at this bit. In fact the Asda TM information so far given is crap!

So, where was I, oh yes ...  to sum up, methinks there may be a bit of a one-way system in play [but I could be completely wrong]. You can go straight through from Eastwood to Heanor admiring the roadworks on the way. And have a nice long detour from Heanor to Eastwood, obviously Eastwood is in favour because they pay their road taxes on time [and have much better Christmas lights] while Heanor - er, probably doesn't.

No, really? You think? Nope, it's got absolutely nothing to do with which side of the road the roundabout is on, trust me ... 

Update from Trent Barton:

Station Road at Langley Mill will be closed in one direction from Monday 5th July for approx. 6 weeks. This will affect amberline, black cat and rainbow 1.
 

black cat and rainbow 1 buses running towards Eastwood will not be affected.  Buses running from Eastwood will divert at B&Q island via the A610 and Upper Dunstead Road where the normal route will be picked up after the traffic lights just before trent barton garage.
 

amberline will run to its normal route to and from Aldercar church, from the church buses will run in both directions via the A610.
 

We are really sorry for any inconvenience this may cause; the situation is clearly beyond our control.  Our team of drivers will do all they can to keep buses running on time.
 

Yes, at least they let people know where they can [anyone on their mailing list] - unlike some half-wits who expect us to guess - although ... ahem, the buses will be running in the opposite direction to everyone else according to the signs that are up.

Hmm, I'm just confused now - Ahh, bugger it! I'll walk ...

Early Morning Noise

Yes, I do mean my early and probably not the majority of the population's view of early but this is my grumpy blog.

I really do not need to be awake at 7.00am! I am well into in my pre-dotage years and so have finished with the jobs that require me to be up at the crack of dawn [and earlier]. I now go to bed very late - just because I can - and expect to wake up equally as late [some hope] ... And no, I don't care how early RG Group and their associates had to get up to be here to make all this noise ... moan, whinge.

So, RG Group - with this daily early morning beep-bloody-reversing-beep of stuff being fork-lifted off of lorries under my bedroom window [reminiscent of Pall-Ex].

And bang-clatter-rattle-rattle of large equipment being deposited [in a very Heanor Haulage type of way] in a similar nearby position - you have now lost your previously 'infinitely superior gold star' standing and plummeted to 'noisy gits' status

Please rectify this thoughtlessness for my grumpydom ASAP or I'll probably have another little early morning 'moment', where I'll be found shouting loud but polite abuse through my bedroom window - note to self - must wear big pyjamas just in case ... Hmm, maybe not. If they wake me early again then they deserve to suffer ...

Asda Langley Mill Recruitment

Click on www.asdalangleymill.co.uk for recruitment info.

But while I'm here I may as well I'll tell you anyway, its at:

Surestart Centre,
Bailey Brook Drive,
Langley Mill.
NG16 4FS

Tuesday 13th July and Wednesday 14th July.
10.00 - 20.00 on both days.

The above bit is out of date now of course, but anyone reading this can still use the link to find that jobs can be applied for online from 29th July.

And why may I ask, am I being 'solicited' from Hull on this post? - and with a direct link too ...

Back Home To A Huge Erection!

It's my blog, I'll use what title I like - then amuse myself when I check what search terms are used to arrive at this post ...

Well, I go to the foot of my sock!

You can't leave men alone with a nice bit of bare land for five minutes without them wanting to build things on it. This has completely spoilt my view of - um, er, the back end of Netto. When my neighbour gave me a progress report last week she told me that the Asda building was blocking our view of some trees [Cotmanhay Wood] in the distance, I was hoping to still be able to see them. I suggested that she ask the workmen nicely to shove the framework over to one side a bit. Failing that, nip up to the woods with Alan Titchmarsh and a big dollop of Growmore.

[I've just re-read that last sentence - I think my subconscious is getting carried away with the blog title]

We can still see where I used to live at Langley, I phoned my ex up the other week to tell him ... 'I can see your house from here', he replied 'What, from Skegness?'. Oh well ...

Also on arriving home I noticed another major development. On going to the outhouse to get my fish-tank cleaning equipment [bucket and jug], I realised that the grumpy old man had padlocked the door. 'Ooooooh' methinks 'what has he put in here that needs security?' I dashed back in to find the keys. After I'd unlocked the door I squeezed in to look enquiringly around to see what was so valuable that it required a padlock - nothing, it's still full of his bloody crap! He'd do a better job with a sign saying 'BURGLARS THIS WAY' and a big arrow pointing to it, then at least I could fill it up with a better class of crap, ie mine.

This is the same man that has taken to sleeping with his wallet under the pillow whilst at 'the manor'. Very wise of him you may think - yes, right up to the point when I tell you that there's nothing in the wallet except his bus-pass, crumbly discount cards, credit cards and his free Ladbrokes World Cup bets. I pointed out that there was a brand new, not inexpensive laptop sat in the other room, along with an ageing Windows mobile [6.1] phone and half-decent camera, did he think I should sleep with them under my pillow?

He's not actually kept any money in his wallet since he put his back out a few years ago and was told by the 'back-tweaker' that he was suffering from 'fat-wallet syndrome' ... Honestly, that's what he said and he definitely had a point as the GOM's wallet was at least an inch thick [too old to think in metric]. He kept it in the right hand back pocket of his jeans - so twisting his spine whilst sat down - where it developed a life of it's own. Ironing his jeans then was ... interesting, because this pocket [in every pair of jeans] retained the shape of the wallet along with the accompanying faded wear marks, nothing [except maybe a steamroller] would make the pocket go flat.

I've just lost the plot, on my third load of washing I thought that the door lock on the washing machine wasn't working properly. After several attempts at shutting the door and locking it - with various parts of my anatomy [knee is favourite] - and numerous twiddles of the dial, the GOM asked me if I was supposed to press any other button to start it off ...  'Oh, yeah, like which button?' I asked smugly ... 'That one' he replied, pointing to the start/pause button.

I immediately turned my back on the offending washing machine and pressed this button behind my back, hoping that he missed the sleight of hand [and body] trick. Upon the click of the lock and whoosh of water I announced ... 'Oh, it's ok now, fancy that'. Did I fool him? ... No, I could hear him laughing at me from where I went to hide my blushes in our jungle [must do some gardening, er, weeding]. I have had similar lapses of memory mid-cooking with the combination microwave jobby, where half way through repeatedly pressing the temperature button I started pressing the + button and then declared - somewhat annoyed - that the oven bit no longer worked. Tut, it can only get worse from here ...

Moaning About Parking

There are certain people on Bridge Street who are moaning about us parking in the turny roundy bit at the top. Believe me it's no fun parking up there, it's absolutely filthy. And when it rains you need wellies just to get to and from the car. But this problem can soon be rectified by us parking outside their houses and letting them struggle for a parking space.

The turnaround was made big enough for us to park in because we had nowhere else to go once the top of the street was opened up for it. I do see their problem though, they were expecting to whizz around in one go - tut, shame - try doing a three point turn like everyone else.

I suggest that if they don't like it, go and see the site manager who said it was ok to park there as long as we left room for cars to turn around - and this we've done ...

A Walk Around Langley Mill

We went for a walk around Langley Mill before breakfast the other morning - please be aware this is not normal behaviour for me, it is not in my character to perambulate under my own steam around such a grotty area [and no-one can deny that it's grotty]. Therefore we can conclude that I was on a mission of nosiness. The grumpy old man, of course, can be seen wandering around Langley Mill at any old time.

We went to find out - as befits my nosy status - exactly where the noisier noise was coming from on North Street, I'd already found what I thought were the correct plans for six houses to be built next to the car park and Tom Memorial Gardens on North Street, which incidentally still has active planning permission for a children's play area [until November], but nothing much seems to have happened in this direction which is a shame. I suppose these crucial plans for more housing next to this site is more important than something recreational [don't read my blog any more AVBC, you won't like it].

And judging by how many new houses have already been built on North/Ebenezer/Thompson Streets I'd have thought a play area would be a good idea to cover the whole of the area. But hey, our councillors have been told by powers on high that houses must be built anywhere they can be squeezed in and bugger the amenities that are needed to accompany them.

Where was I? North Street ... plans ... Ah, yes: Somehow the new building work didn't look positioned right from Bridge Street, so off I went armed with nosy equipment - camera [for more Heanor Haulage crap shots on the way round] and near photographic but highly selective memory, and of course my bodyguard ... aka the GOM.

I soon gathered when I got there that the new build was tagged onto Bourne Drive, I cut and paste that information and popped it into my documents ... sorry, I mean I remembered that detail and we carried on our way.

The GOM managed to find people to talk to, he knows just about everybody and you can see the panic in their eyes when they realise that the only way to escape being talked to is to throw themselves under a bus or climb over a 7ft spiked fence - depending on where they are at the time - before finally resigning themselves to their fate ... bless him.

And just when are they thinking of restoring footpath 53? North Street is a long way to go just to be nosy without it, we had to go along the main road where I called at the train station to take photos of a different view of the Asda site, then after North Street and over the bridge we went past HH where I deliberately trespassed on their newly purchased bit of Queen Street recreation ground - I am daring! Before continuing on down Queen Street and along Cromford Road.

I looked down at my feet on this last stretch while dawdling and waiting for the GOM to catch up with me [he'd found another victim] - or rather, at where my feet should be but haven't been seen by me from a standing position since I was thirteen. And was reminded of a little ditty I received in my mail - sent by one of my less technologically disadvantaged friends - called 'I Should Have looked After Me Tits'. There was one line about them 'no longer bouncing because the springs had gone', I noticed in a smug and conceited way that mine had got a fair wobble on.

Stupidly seeking assurance from the GOM, I turned and asked him if me boobs were still bouncing. Quick as a flash, and for once not using his deafness to get me to repeat the question - thereby giving him time to think if the correct answer - he replied 'No' ... 'What do you mean, no? That means the bloody springs have gone in 'em'.

'They're bouncing, they're bouncing!' he said. We giggled the rest of our way home like a couple of recycled teenagers about how he always tries to give me the answer he thinks I want, rather than the actual truth. I wouldn't swap him for anything, but he's not the one to ask - 'does my bum look big in this?' ...

Noisy Gits!

BUMP ...BUMP ... BUMP on and on and on ...

The Asda building site - you probably assume I'm moaning about - not a bit of it, it's 'them noisy buggers t'over railway lines' on Bourne Drive [off North Street]. They're on their second phase of building and don't we all know about it. Even the grumpy old man is moaning about the noise and he's somewhat deaf.

Obviously it must be some cheap tin-pot construction company building over there ... rather than the infinitely superior - considerate to residents - RG Group who are building Asda ... hmm, don't get too comfy and complacent with this positively glowing reference, it is subject to change at any moment ...

Traffic Chaos In Langley Mill

Well if that's the best they can manage in Langley Mill with just a bit of a hole, then I hate to think what it'll be like when they do the roundabout for Asda. Everything came to a standstill today at about 6pm because the traffic lights were broken.

Traffic movement had already been slow most of the day with this bit of 'traffic management'. Backing all the way up to Heanor one way and Eastwood the other. Apparently traffic was being diverted [I did see the signs] through Langley Mill because of resurfacing work on Woodlinkin bypass.

Don't people in charge of highways ever communicate with each other? Surely they must have known there were going to be hold-ups in Langley Mill - seeing as Derbyshire County Council had approved the Asda TM [so it says in latest residents newsletter] - without diverting more traffic through our poor village/town.
 
Back to this evening ... The lights on Cromford Road stayed permanently on red, as did the ones from Heanor to Eastwood, the ones from Eastwood to Heanor remains a mystery to me as I wasn't nosy enough to venture that far but the good news is - the crossing lights not far away [usually disabled when traffic management is in force] were working perfectly ... and frequently, adding a little extra zing to the entertainment.

Needless to say there were some risks taken as people just couldn't sit waiting forever but there were the usual few twits who took the risk to extremes by hurtling along in the Eastwood direction at upwards of 50mph, it would only take a like minded person to do the same thing at the same time in the other direction for there to be an accident.
 
We did hear one screech but by then the journalist [yeah, right] in me had told the grumpy old man to get a move on - and we'd continued on our walk around the sights [sites?] of Langley Mill, taking in a close up view of the back of Netto and mere minutes later, another look at the scrap that makes up Heanor Haulage - so I could get to my beloved computer and keyboard.

Things seemed to be managing reasonably OK on that corner up to today without resorting to traffic lights, it was all coned off but maybe they had to give in because it was left turn only out of Cromford Road. The GOM witnessed two people in less than 2 minutes turning right, he was talking to the site manager at the time and he said that there'd be a smash at this rate.

Just to say that when I started writing this, er, newsflash? [drivel] it was still exactly the same down there. Everyone waiting on Cromford Road and mad dashes from either direction on Station Road [the time is at the bottom of this post].

We did see a policeman at one point, I'd have thought he'd have stayed somewhere on the bend near The Mill pub to try to direct traffic as everyone would be able to see him from there but he seemed to have disappeared.

As we continued on our way round we had a word with one of the Asda site men, he said he was waiting for an engineer to fix the lights. Common sense would have told anyone - well, any woman [and incidentally the GOM] - to move the cones further to one side as they weren't actually doing anything and to chuck the traffic lights into the river ...