A Googling Nightmare

Well the crumbliest among us has been updated [upgraded - I know!] with an XP laptop with wifi - Oh dear.

The first thing I did when summoned, was to sort her an hotmail address to use on Windows Live Messenger as she wanted to 'talk' to me while I was away. I gave her strict instructions to learn how to use this first, plus a little light searching - nothing more. I didn't want her trying to learn too much at once; being overwhelmed, failing to grasp it and giving up. This may sound patronising, I don't mean to be, but I know from helping others that the older you are, the harder it is to take in. I also told her to keep a notebook handy to jot down things she wasn't sure of so she could ask someone later.

'How do I ask for Google?'
'You've got Google there' I answered, pointing to it.
'Do I type Google in there?'
No, it - is - a - Google - search - bar.'
'So and so types Google in there and she gets Google.'
'Well you don't need to.'
'So what do I type in there then?'
'You just type in whatever you want to know.'
'Well, really ... I want Google.'
*@%#!

This would try the patience of a Saint and I'm no Saint.

The other day - via texts and messenger:-

'I tried to sign in to Google Facebook and Yahoo Facebook.'
'What?'
'Neither worked.'
'What?'
'I asked Google for Facebook, tried to sign in, it didn't work so I asked Google for Yahoo, then Yahoo for Facebook and tried to sign in there.'
'Why?'
'Well so and so does it if Google can't find what she wants.'
'Google will find Facebook, Yahoo will find Facebook, you don't need to ask one to ask the other where chuffing Facebook is!'
'Oh.'
'You haven't got a facebook account.'
'Well I put all my details in, my name and school.'
'Did you use your email address?'
'Is hotmail.co.uk my email?'
'No that's just the end of it.'
'And ******-******* is my name on the Internet.'
'No, that's the beginning of your email.'
'Do I need a password?'
'Look I'll sign you up to facebook and send you the details to log in.'

I did the deed.

'Why that password? Can't I have ********?'
'You can change it once you've logged in, I'm not a mind reader, I had to pick summat!!'

I was a bit short with her as we'd already had words about an email address she'd sent me by text - which she knew she'd done right because so and so said so. Yes the address was right including the underscore but she's a demon for full stops and no spaces so I - completely forgetting this foible, put a name and a dot more in the address than I should and ended up with an 'undelivered' notification.

Text received that evening:-

'My family think I'm doing great on the Internet, they also think I need showing only a bit at a time. And they never thought to see me on Facebook. I feel quite chuffed with myself.'

Oh dear, oh dear ...