Wednesday, 24 March 2010

The Grand Opening And A Bit More Shaking

We went last week to open the caravan aka ‘the manor’, the usual hardy bunch were there getting their money’s worth. Most sensible folk wait until at least Easter before braving the weather while we twits suffered the sludge, the cold and the all pervasive damp that goes with sitting in a glorified tin shack in an old turnip field mid-March ... but we are anything but sensible.

I was relieved to go because as things were at home I was starting to think I was actually ill and I don't do ‘ill’ too well as I'm a bit mardy. I’d already written about the vibrations making me feel sick. Well this went on for over two weeks. Of course the hypochondriac in me had been checking on t'interweb for what diseases I may have been suffering from as I noticed that I was shaking on and off even when I wasn't at home - this was starting to scare me.

Having said that, it was much worse at home but the only bits of me that felt at all trembly were the bits that were touching the floor, chair, sofa, bed or even worse the bath; as any movement I made when laid in that made me feel like the whole thing was going to tip over and so completely spoilt my daily wallowing sessions with a good - but often wrinkled [dried on the radiator] - book.

It was almost [almost but not quite] impossible to use my beloved computer, it took me five separate sessions just to answer Ted's last comment. I deduced that even though the house was indeed shaking, other things with vibrations like my computer made it worse; I was tuned in to just about everything!

It was a bit of a vicious circle really, I knew the house shaking was making me sick so I needed to go out but I felt too ill to go anywhere - so didn't. Eventually the sickness wore off just leaving the trembling, I started timing the vibrations - one minute on and approximately ten seconds off.

One day last week my sanity was saved. The grumpy old man just happened to be sitting where I do my work and he looked up at me and said ‘I can feel it, tell me when it stops and starts.’

I told him ‘’ and he agreed with me that there was a very subtle vibration. That was the only time he felt it apart from early on when it was much more noticeable - at last, proof that I wasn't either ill or completely round the twist. I did ask him if he was only humouring me as he could see I was getting more stressed each day because even though I no longer felt sick, I couldn't relax properly as the tingling made me feel tense and on edge all the time - and being bone idle, this will never do!

It was a bit like I was using one of those electric muscle stimulator doo-dah's you wire yourself up to that work your muscles without you actually having to do any exercise [my kind of exercise], I figured that with the amount of time I spent sat down with a tingling rear end that I'd probably end up with a size 10 bum to go nicely with my size, ahem 1* boobs - well I can hope can't I?

I'd also been experimenting by lying on the floor in different positions [and getting up fairly quickly when I heard the GOM coming so he didn't think I'd collapsed in a heap] and whizzing from room to room on my computer chair - trust me, I did have time for this as it was impossible for me to work with the travel sickness that the shaking had induced, so ended up putting in my two weeks holidays that I was owed [lucky coincidence] and had to use before April.

On the odd occasion when we did go out [after the sickness had passed], I noticed that wherever we went I felt the vibrations of anything and everything. Where I sat at a cafe for lunch [Calver] I felt every car and lorry go past. Then later at Peak Village, each shop we went into the heating set my feet tingling, I was starting to feel like some sort of chunky tuning fork - hmm ... or guitar string, I was twanging so much.

Thankfully a week away from the constant vibration seemed to cure me, the only thing that vibrates at the manor is the fridge and I hardly felt it. Since I've been back [Tuesday] I can still feel a slight tingle in my feet when Heanor Haulage are moving stuff on their back yard and again when I'm sat at my computer, but it no longer bothers me like it did.

Oh bugger! I spoke too soon, it's as bad as ever again [Saturday 27th March] I need another holiday ...

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Be nice, I'm very sensitive.