Bored Teenagers in Langley Mill

We were only back a day from our tin hut by the sea before I was phoning the police - as per Mr Heanor Haulage's request when we see trespassers on his yard. Although they could have taken what they wanted for all I cared, if HH aren't going to provide security with all the money they've been given for different bits of land - well tough.

My concern was that it was dusk and there was one loony walking along our back wall - I'd just gone to turn my computer off and was stunned to see this crackpot behaviour. The wall in question is one brick thick and at least twelve or thirteen feet high, he was asking to break his neck ... yeah, OK I admit it, I shouted 'I hope you fall off and break your neck, you tw*t', through the window - but that's me, I'm quite horrible - but I would have been devastated if he did fall [and broke anything of mine].

There they were, running around the yard, acting ever so big, climbing up onto things, trying to shove one flatbed off of another [I've mentioned that HH double decker them. When they failed to push one off they climbed on top and started jumping up and down, hmm, so that's how they reached the outbuildings wall.

Of course by the time the police arrived they'd climbed up onto something and jumped back out of the compound. I was called back by the police twice, firstly to make sure where it was actually happening [as Heanor Haulage is still classed as being on Wesley Street]. Secondly to ask if they'd got a football with them. I wasn't about to get anyone into trouble that weren't involved so answered quite truthfully that there were already lads on the rec playing football [although they may have been part of the same group].

Two days went by and the police rang again to thank me and to ask if it was an ongoing problem with teenagers playing on HH compound. I replied that they do mess about on there every so often. An email was going to be sent to Langley Mill police, even though I said that I thought they'd be aware of the problem. I was asked if I'd mind the police visiting for a chat. Hmmm.

Yes, that very afternoon ... what the police? no, don't be daft, they were doing more important stuff [this really is trivial until someone gets a spike up their a**e or killed].
The same lads running around HH and climbing on things. Oh heck another one climbing over the fence, watching that really did make me wince. After they made a few more calls to their mates they went onto the front [slurry corner] where three more climbed over - the sissy way - to join them.

Note to anyone who wants to know - Mr HH, police - it's easy to get in just there, even I could manage it at a push ... with a stepladder of course, I'm not cocking my leg up for anyone.

By the time they'd done a bit of sunbathing on the flatbeds and tried to get the crane started they must have lost interest and decided to visit Asda before returning to Queen Street recreation ground.

Now I want to make it VERY clear that it wasn't me being nosy - I was trying to pursue my latest and not inexpensive hobby but the grumpy old man kept asking me ... 'Have you got your camera handy?' and 'Can you see what the tw*ts are up to now!?' it was easier to stand there like a nodding dog by his side at the window than spend my hard earned dosh at ebay.

I didn't ring the police as it's mostly a waste of time, but someone else may have done because a police car was parked on our street. A few minutes later a policeman came back with several bottles that he'd taken from them. This was witnessed by my GOM [who else?], as by this time I'd managed to velcro my a**e to my chair and was spend, spend spending!

So, they were not only stupidly climbing over a high spiked fence but also thinking they could do it easily without putting a foot wrong due to alcohol ... tw*ts.

Minutes later a woman turned up with a fresh supply of drink in a carrier bag. I'm not suggesting for a minute that it was alcohol but they did hide it in the bushes.

Oh incidentally, my superzoom, whizzo camera was glued to my sticky right mitt during bits of this activity and I took a clear photo of each and every one of them - now deleted from my camera as I don't keep crap on it. But, ahem, there is a photo CD knocking around somewhere among my stuff, entitled 'Tw*ts of Langley Mill' .

I wish they'd find something less stupid and dangerous to do during the school holidays or at least do it where I and - much more importantly - my grumpy old man can't see them ...

Speed?!

Now I know that the speed limit in a built up area with the required street lighting is 30mph. But where does it say in the rule book that you must drive at this speed or fail your driving test? ... When the street in question has parked cars on one side and hoarding 2ft into the road on the other, making the actual width to get through no more than approximately 7ft.

This was the absurd claim made to my neighbour when she asked the toss pot - the one who had previously had speeding visitors that I'd shouted at the other day - to slow down. He also thinks that even though there's still plenty of room for turning, we shouldn't park in the turnaround at the top, presumably because he can't quite keep up to the 30mph required of him by law.

That's OK, we're obliging, we'll move our cars if we're upsetting him by parking in the turnaround, but there aren't many parking spaces to be had ... Especially as someone [him] is leaving 'notices' on cars telling drivers to 'park in front of their own house', because someone from up this way - who is without a parking space at the moment - was parked an inch into 'his' territory ...  I am led to believe that, ahem, when this person moved into the housing association house, he was told that there was street parking that went with the house - yeah right! I can't remember the last time we were able to park in front of our house [well I can, it was immediately before demolition] but we aren't complaining, it's something we're prepared to put up with.

But as I say, we're obliging, and if we're at all being a nuisance by parking our cars in the turnaround [for which we have permission and it's nothing to do with the council], to people who want to drive faster, then we'll have to arrange our parking exactly as it was before the turnaround was made - oh dear, that'll completely block it off for everybody, shame.

Oh, and even though the 5mph sign was only put up at the turnaround bit, the workmen assumed [never assume, there are always idiots] that as the road was so narrow, we'd all got enough common sense not to drive at speed on the rest of the street. Evidently they weren't expecting there to be new 'bolshy, I'll do what I like' twats for residents whizzing up and down.

Anyway, I wouldn't like to be in his shoes if he hurts one of the street's children [or cats] by his arrogant stupidity, and if he's still driving dangerously over the next few days then we'll probably have to get the police involved. Hmm yes, police - paperwork, maybe not. Oh well, we'll just have to hope that his tyres spontaneously deflate ...