More Trouble With Langley Mill's Teenagers

I recently received an email from Chris, he'd written to the local newspaper - Ripley &Heanor News - half expecting his letter to be included, but not exactly relying on it. It was about the local yoofs and yoofesses of Langley Mill/Aldercar and the damage they cause.

I imagine that much the same is going on all around the country and most of it is down to bad parenting and - as I've said before - the television perpetuating the belief that the child is ALWAYS right and adults are interfering, thick tw*ats.

In some cases the child is quite correct, it's apparently very easy to pull the wool over enough parents eyes so they believe that Junior is sleeping over at their best buddy's house ... these particular parents probably should have been prevented from having children in the first place as they're clearly too thick to phone Buddy's parents to check that Junior is indeed staying there. Either that or they really don't care where their offspring is - out of sight, out of mind - so we end up with them roaming the streets in screaming, shouting, damage causing feral packs all hours of the day and night.

Asda and McCrap also add to the problem by feeding the little darlings throughout the night. Anyway, nothing is ever going to improve because this lot, with zero respect for anyone or anything are the parents of the future. And no, I'm not talking about ALL teenagers, I know most are tucked up in bed and are perfectly respectable. It'sjust the ones who are a complete pain in the ar*e. Unfortunately they give the rest a bad name. It's now at the stage where you daren't even look at them without expecting a gob full of abuse.

Anyhooo, here's the letter:

I thought I would write my story of how the youth of today seems to have a total lack of respect for people and property. I visit family in Langley mill each week.  My van is parked outside and it seems to attract thieves and vandals. Just last week 3 youths, probably 12 year olds decided to zigzag  fishing line across the pavement, wrapping it around several street posts and even wrapping it around parked vehicles, including my own van. 

I saw them hanging around outside for some time and about half hour later went outside to have a look around and saw the fishing line wrapped around everything.

When I saw the fishing line I reported it to the police who came out straight away. Though apparently the youths didn't actually commit a crime. So the only thing they could do, if caught, was issue them a asbo. So there are no real consequences for their actions even though someone could have been injured.

Considering there are elderly and disabled  people living in the adjacent houses, I am actually outraged by what they did.  Not only are they at risk of not seeing the fishing line, it could have necked some passers by. There are a lot of dog walkers out at night also. Its dark and it wouldn't be easily visible.

Best part of the whole event was they did it right outside 3 CCTV cameras which are infra-red so work perfectly well at night and caught the whole thing on camera. Not only are they stupid with the intent of doing harm to the public where there are no laws to prevent it, they are stupid enough to do it in plain sight of 3 night vision cameras.

I fitted the CCTV cameras about a year ago after my van window was smashed and my sat-nav stolen. My sat nav has a lot of my work addresses in it so I can't really do without it. I work as a carpet cleaner in Uttoxeter and my van carries my £2,500 carpet cleaning machine which took 2 days to remove all the glass out of.  If I had missed some glass it would have irreparably damaged my equipment and my livelihood.  Who would end up footing the bill in such a situation?  I had to pay for my window to be replaced along with pulling out millions of fragments of glass out of everything. I also lost 4 days work in total because of it all.

Not long before that I had my side mirror smashed off my van. I of course reported it, but with no evidence who did it, nothing could be done. So yet another bill I had to pay out because of some youths lack of respect for property.  Not only that, I have to drive back to Uttoxeter Sunday night time and changing lanes without a nearside mirror is vary dangerous on the M1. If I had collided with another vehicle as I couldn't see them at 70MPH , I really think someone would have been killed. Do these youths even realise how dangerous the knock on effect is of their actions?

Not only that, we have the usual drinks bottles chucked into our garden most days. Youths clearly have not been educated on how to use a dustbin.  We get the usual shouting and swearing in the early hours of the morning and sometimes find smashed wheelie bins and sick outside our driveway. If I reported every little thing to the police it would be a full time job.

Obviously they did a poor job with the fishing line. If I was doing it, I would have at least got some stainless steel cable and wrapped it back and forth over the road for several hundred meters. Wrapping it around as many cars as I could. Clearly it is no crime to do that.

I personally think the law seriously needs to be changed in relation to young offenders and what is classed as a crime. In my opinion, the intent to do harm should be more than enough for some jail time regardless of age. Such pranks can easily result in someone being injured or even killed. If I had not investigated the fishing line, how many people would it have caught in the face during the night? I really wonder what if someone had lost a eye or two if anything more would have been done. 

Delightful, isn't it? ...

Bedroom Swap

I wrote this last week on Facebook during the marathon 'bedroom swap' and decided to share it here too - as I used to in the olden days before social media got in the way:

Not everything in this pic is still there, I was mid-rearranging.

As it's quite clear that Chavsda and the feral yoofs and yoofesses are still waking me through the night and aren't about to give in - despite the council visiting Asda - I think it's time to give in and switch bedrooms.

So ... let operation *BEDROOM SWAP* commence.

This isn't as easy as you may think because the other - smaller, *underwater* - bedroom currently houses 'BigJobs', my lovely underused - at the mo - computer and all the paraphernalia that goes with it ... big desk, scanner/printer, blah blah blah.

My craft desk and half ton of crap that I've amassed to make cards that I'm no longer making ... but one day.

New view from my bed

Sun bed that no one wants. MY iron and MY ironing board. I love ironing and get all my best ideas standing with iron in hand - even though I've got a steamy thing (oh yeah, and that) - whilst gazing through the window.

More stuff to go to the charity shop ... my chauffeur is taking that out of my way.

Stuffed toys. I need to give most of these away as they're totally unnecessary ... I keep putting them in plastic bags then fetch 'em back out 'coz they can't breathe.

And last but not least, stuff from the tin hut that I can't cram in anywhere else.

It's Wednesday now and I will be missing at least until the weekend. Probably without food, I may have to eat my left leg ... or not, it's another set of triple fast days ahead of me. Got to shift this lard that I've had since I was 13. It's hanging on and on and on. Time for it to give in and let go.

Stuck

I can't believe my husband has just been up to ask me about whether some old trainers need chucking out. I'm here with this! Half in half out the room. And he just went again, never offered me a chuffin hand or owt.

Oh duck! I'm stuck! I'm going to have to phone him.

Escaped! Getting serious now. All jewellery off and I'm down to my smalls in an attempt to keep cool.

Knackered! Rearranged front bedroom until I've got no strength left and I'm still not happy. Off I go back to have another go. If it's not working for me this time then the single bed will have to go ... as Mr Grumpy keeps telling me.

Mostly crafting essentials - completely rearranged 8 times in 3 days.

Why is my effin brain switched off? Common sense tells you that when something heavy - under-bed drawer full of crafting crap - is balanced precariously coz summat else (ironing board) is holding up proceedings - you don't nudge said ironing board with your knee when your bloody feet are under the drawer. I daren't look at my bruises. I'd already amassed a fair few without doing this. Oh well, back I go to put the other drawer in.

Hmmm, it's like this. I didn't stop lifting, moving, dropping, rearranging crap - apart from my very brief whingy updates - until after 6.30pm. I'm ever so slightly peckish having eaten nowt and I'm currently in the bath admiring my bruises ... how do I get out of the bath? In fact how do I reach the shampoo, soap then towel?

To my right, the woody bits are part of the sunken galleon oddjob made

Himself and Miss Tia Pussykins are trying out the new bedroom. I bet one of them would come to my assistance if I shouted.

Hmmm, may as well stop here, I can keep topping up with hot water using my left foot.

Oh, I'm saved, Mr Grumpy is here passing me soap. I daren't tell him I want the shampoo first ...

Heanor Haulage STILL Here ... and Asda's Extension

Fed up, hardly slept last night - Mr Grumpy gave in and got up before 4.00am - and H-effin-H have been here since before 8.00am with their crane and railway tracks ... again.

Along with Asda's chuffin deliveries and extension being built - and their appalling night time customers and twatting revving up car park racers - I'm ready to go live in a tent somewhere up a mountain ... as long as it's got central heating and a big bath.

Gawd knows what it'll be like when they start clearing up Heanor Haulage's crap and building the new 'dwellings' and access to them. And we still don't know what is going to happen to the HH land on the front.

Hopefully whatever they do, will be done next summer when we can escape, too bad for the other Bridge Street residents ...

On a happier note - for Langley Mill - after the success of the summer festival on Cromford Road, they're holding something similar - Cromford Road Christmas Festival - on Saturday 6th December when the road is closed between 4-9pm. I look forward to it ...

Weekend Noise And Asda Race Track

A few days ago a young woman knocked at the door and asked Mr Grumpy what we liked about Langley Mill and wanted to know what ideas we might have to make it better.

Grumpy shouted upstairs to ask if I wanted to answer her questions, I replied that there was nothing TO like about Langley Mill. A minute later I could still hear them talking and I had a rethink - what's the point of me constantly moaning about the place, then when given the opportunity; doing and saying nothing about it.

We invited her in and had a nice chat. The result was that most people she'd asked all said the same about having somewhere for the teenagers to go, instead of them being a nuisance around here.

They go to Asda and McDonalds then gather under the bridge, often up to thirty at a time, bored senseless, looking for mischief, a constant noise and using the place as their rubbish bin.

I told her if she wanted to advertise something for them to do then she'd be as well sticking a notice on the bridge for them. Then they could at least have an opportunity to read it before setting fire to it.

I did tell her that I occasionally write a blog moaning about Langley Mill, it turns out that she had read some of it.

6.00pm Friday evening I thought that one of our neighbours had got a heavy duty pressure washer out to do some intensive squirting - at the gathering teenagers hopefully - but it turned out to be some thoughtless bas**rds SANDBLASTING over the railway lines with their doors open facing us.

By 7.40pm grumpy went to investigate. Typical, he couldn't hear it over there. Oddly enough he met a man - wearing ear protection - on the bridge who had just come over to see how loud it was over here. He told grumpy they can't do it during the day because of cars in the car park - what rot.

And ... "we've got at least another hour to listen to it", turned out he meant two. It was gone 9.30pm when it stopped.

I've recorded how loud it was on my phone and I watched the thick cloud of sand come across to Bridge Street. Saturday morning we noticed how filthy all the cars were.

Anyhooo, to get back to the nice lady who is wasting her time and efforts on this dump - one thing we forgot to mention was the stupid morons using Asda car park for their Sunday evening entertainment.

Last night was the worst so far. From 8.00pm I thought there were fireworks going off as well as lots of car revving. This went on for well over an hour and my GOM decided he'd go to find out what was happening.

When he finally came back he said there were at least thirty cars on the car park, one had been on fire and two fire engine's were in attendance (ooh, proper reporting mode there). They were TRYING to get hold of the police.

All the trolley bays were full of their 'audience' as it was persisting it down. When grumpy asked what they thought they were doing, the reply he got was "it's a car park and we only come once a week". The gentleman be asked (in his twenties, old enough to know better), had come from Sandiacre so not actually all our home grown tw*ts.

We called into Asda this morning to enquire what they were doing about it  - NOTHING - it's in the hands of the police. When asked if they could have barriers to stop them going on the car park when they're shut, reply - "no because of the petrol station and the ATM machines" ... this - in my opinion - is utter bo**ocks!

Apparently there had been 60-100 cars racing along the A610 to Asda and they were queuing up to get in and out of Langley Mill. We had to wonder how many of these cars were taxed and insured and whether or not the police actually care.

I can't wait to see what next weekend will bring ...

McDonald's Langley Mill - Very Nearly Ready

Update 15.2.13:
 Just been told that McDonald's opened this morning at 6.00 ...

It looks like it won't be long before McDonald's is ready to open. They were busy turfing and planting when we passed today.

Hopefully the nice people who pass here being a damned gobby nuisance through the night - who then go on to see how many tunes they can get out of the metal railway bridge by hitting it (hopefully with their heads) - will frequent the 24 hour McDonald's after being moved on by Asda.

I imagine it could even be the same group of delightful teenagers who just throw their rubbish down after an Asda lunch, as witnessed by myself today.

But I rather imagine they'll come up here to chuck McDonald's crap about as a change from Asda crap :(

Hmmm, yes - Asda is still completely devoid of anyone opening the delivery gates actually being in charge of more than one brain cell. Whoever opens them in the night attempts to open the bolts without them squeaking ... this is irritating beyond measure. Whoever does it during the day couldn't care less how much they squeak.

Knowing that they do squeak would normally prompt someone with two brain cells to ask maintenance to grease the bolts ... alas, as I've said, they're sadly lacking in this department so I'm going to have to go across and tell them yet again to get them greased.

Oooooh, I nearly forgot. Would whoever it is that is trying not to squeak the gates in the night, please stop dropping pallets on top of one another. I know that's what you're doing because I've been there, done that and got the T-shirt!

Done whinging now ...

A Tiny Bit Peeved At Asda Langley Mill

Thanks to dayvee for filling in with his grumpiness while mine was taking a break ;-)

The majority of this post was written on June 17th, I didn't publish it then as  I was hanging on to it as promises had been made to me by Asda - thus I was hoping that things would improve - so no real point in venting my spleen. But seeing as things were exactly the same while we were at home last time, I decided to finish it: 

Just lately I seem to have had more than my fair share of annoyances - well I think so, and it's my blog and I'll whinge if I want to.

I won't go into great detail of all of my gripes here or I may just upset someone; and that would never do. But be warned - if the cap fits - this worm is on the turn. I will continue now with peeves that I am allowed to write about:

Ahem ... t'other Tuesday (29th May) we returned back to Langley Mill, there was no prising my fingers off of anything to make me leave my beloved tin hut this time, because I knew that when I got home I was eagerly anticipating the arrival of two items in the post.

1. A shiny new Android jobby aka a Samsung Galaxy S2.
2. A sheet of Baader AstroSolar safety film for my latest hobby (more about that soon).

Anyway, that very same evening, hang on, I need to check my 'tweets' for the times ... Aha, we'd been home two hours apparently - making it about 11.20 at night, when I was vibrating where I sat.

I went upstairs and looked through the window at the offending item before I stomped across to Asda, thinking they'd got a freezer unit parked up for their 'deep clean'. I was wrong (it happens). I asked the security guard - nicely, my bad temper had fizzled out in that short distance - for the manager. He duly arrived and I was apologised to and informed that it was a three hours late chiller lorry ... one of the old NOISY kind.

I can actually do the rest of this blog post with my tweets pertinent to Asda and life for me  - at this time - in Langley Mill. I've missed the other, much nicer and possibly more ladylike stuff out.

Of course, you're not forced to read it, but apart from me removing a few hash-tags (no, can't be bothered, I'll leave 'em)  and maybe moderating a bit of my worst bluster, the tweets are entirely genuine, as well as the dates and times stated.

• 29 May 23.49 I must be on a very short fuse. Only been home 2 hours and already been across to #Asda to complain - but I was being shaken out of my chair.
• 29 May 23.51 A chuffin (3 hours) late chiller lorry ... one of the old NOISY kind apparently. #AsdaLangleyMill night manager was lovely ... I wasn't ;-)
• 30 May  6.16 Effin #Asda #LangleyMill have had me awake nearly 2 effin hours already with effin deliveries! Chucking lumps of metal in there now. Wan**rs
• 30 May  6.19  Am now resigned to my awake status & started work. So thanks for that #Asda noisy sods! 3 wks away make me realise we put up with crap here! 
• 30 May  6.25 At least I know where sun comes up (in case it's clear enough) for photos of #TransitOfVenus next week. I shall rely on #Asda to get me up.
• 30 May 7.01 #Asda chiller lorry is out-noising my washing machine 2 rooms away. do you think I may be in a bad mood? Less than 4 hours sleep does that!
• 1 Jun 9.03 Took a borrowed dog for a walk, looks very busy inside old #Netto. It's surprising how well the weeds in #LangleyMill hide #Asda's litter.
• 2 Jun 0.28 Oh bo**ox. It's twatting teenage loony time in #LangleyMill. Morons shouting to each other about what time it is in front of our house :-(
• 2 Jun 0.30 I'd forgotten how delightful #LangleyMill could be on a Friday night. That's only 3rd time they've been past lately. Roll on next week :-)
• 2 Jun 0.33 Although now I think about it, it'll be same every night. Hope it rains every night, keep the little darlings at home with mummy & daddy ;-)
• 2 Jun 0.36 & here they come again. Looked like they'd been evicted from #Asda earlier the way they were shoving trolleys about. Oh to be young & bored.
• 2 Jun 2.06 Now I'm being shaken out of bed by an effin #Asda freezer lorry delivering more crap. I suppose it'll be the squeaky gates opening next :-(
• 2 Jun 2.19 Brrrrrm ... bang, clatter. I wonder how many lies the #Asda manager would be prepared to tell about this delivery being late. Good training!
• 2 Jun 2.26 Rumble rumble rumble rumble rumble. Funny there were no reversing squawks or bleeps. Maybe they thought it would wake me up. Rumble rumble.
• 2 Jun 2.29 I suppose I could count #Asda pallets rumbling off the lorry instead of counting sheep to see if I could get back to sleep.
• 2 Jun 2.34 Bugger, I've been awake so long that I'm hungry... Boom, squeak, brrrrrm clatter, clang. That's it, he's off. Another #Asda delivery done.
• 2 Jun 2.38 They were very quiet with the gates. Damn that's annoying. I do like to whinge about #Asda's squeaky gates. Must have done good complaining.
• 2 Jun 2.41 Well I'm very awake, playing I-spy on my own in the dark could be a challenge. I know, I'll open the blind & use #Asda's security light :-)
• 2 Jun 3.12 Firkin hell! another bloody #Asda delivery. This one blared his bleeding horn! #SWAIN I think it says on front.
• 2 Jun 3.14 Oh dear, half way through last tweet & he blared horn again. I lost the plot & went across in my dressing gown & trainers. Got nasty :-)
• 2 Jun 3.17 Got on to security guard. Apologised to him. Saw a Kev (I think). Apparently no night staff & guess what!? Delivery was hours late. To**ers
• 2 Jun 3.23 On the bright side, I Heard a cuckoo & then took photos of hedgehog on next door's yard. Rumble rumble rumble rumble. http://pic.twitter.com/ocXFYCg0
• 2 Jun 3.26 Ahhhh, grumpy has made me a lovely cup of tea. Rumble rumble rumble rumble. Long effin #Asda delivery 3.25 now. Rumble rumble rumble rumble.
• 2 Jun 3.29 Oh s**t. I will no doubt be immortalised on a security video dressed like a Clampit, ranting & waving my arms about... Rumble rumble rumble
• 2 Jun 3.36 Aha, tosspot has done his #Asda delivery. I do hope all his tyres spontaneously burst on the motorway. That chuffin gate is quiet tonight :)
• 2 Jun 3.42 I've not had an hours sleep yet. I'll be ever so lovely tomorrow... Not! I wish I wasn't so grumpy, but I am being pushed a bit far.
• 2 Jun 4.34 Wonder if #Asda #LangleyMill have finally realised they don't need to open 24hours seeing as there's no night staff. Oh yeah am still awake.
• 2 Jun 4.37 I could eat a scabby dog's leg, I am starving! Hmm, come here scabby dog. Pthooo... too hairy ;-)
• 2 Jun 5.21 Yet another #Asda delivery yawn. Oh yeah, security guard reminded me that it was a business & they had to deliver through the night. Rubbish
• 2 Jun 5.25 Still not been to sleep since they woke me with #Asda delivery at 2.00am. This one is bleeping in & there's some nice preparation clanking!
• 2 Jun 5.28 How many attempts does he need to reverse into #Asda? Still chuffin bleeping. Ahh, he's in. Now for the rumbles to start.
• 2 Jun 5.31 I think I'll print my tweets & give them to Ms #Asda manager when I visit her tomorrow oops today. Will save me telling her what I think :'(
• 2 Jun 6.13 And another completed #Asda delivery. Yes I'm still awake. Bang clank. And another one in. Oh it's effin freezer lorry now. Chuff me!
• 2 Jun 6.22 #Asda really taking wee wee now with bloody banging & clanking, now rumbling. They in too much hurry. You're a load of to**ers in there! :-(
• 2 Jun 6.45 Well this has to be considered one of #Asda's noisiest deliveries yet. I really don't know how they got plans passed for 24hour deliveries.
• 2 Jun 6.47 I still haven't slept, 1st 2 hours #Asda's delightful younger customers. (trolley in middle of road). Rest of night delivery after delivery!
• 2 Jun 6.52 Bloody hell! Another one. Bloody #ARLA now, he did a turn around the yard, he'll have to wait his turn until freezer lorry done :-(
• 2 Jun 6.55 #Kingsmill waiting at #Asda now. At least he's relatively quiet. But Asda's own lorry is still clanking. Yes the blind is open so I can see!
• 2 Jun 6.58 Have #Asda forgotten that they're open bank hols? I'm sure they must have had more deliveries than normal for the prats panic shopping.
• 2 Jun 7.05 I need to find somewhere else to live. Many more nights like this I'll end up in a nut house. Or prison when I'm driven to do summat stupid!
• 2 Jun 7.10 Sick of hearing that bloody #Asda lorry engine. Oh, he's going. #ARLA is back for his turn, #Kingsmill is in. Oh it's Arla making noise now!
• 2 Jun 7.14 Got a headache, that's every morning since I've been back in this hole! I'd like someone from #Asda to come here to listen to all this crap!
• 2 Jun 7.19 I see last night's little #Asda shoppers left a can on neighbours car as well as trolley in road. How delightful. http://pic.twitter.com/9HsjSfd9
• 2 Jun 7.43 #ARLA is still bloody droning on & on. Meanwhile there's all the clanking in the background. I hate #Asda. Ooh, they've left yard gate open.
• 2 Jun 7.46 I could nip round & do some real damage, yeah right. They've got my name, address, phone number... And my #Clampit impression on video :-)
• 2 Jun 7.50 Disguise, oh yes! Stilts & a beard... And #ARLA drones on... Dark glasses & a wig. Effin tannoy now! They're coming to take me away haha ;-)
• 2 Jun 7.54 Ha! #ARLA is done. He struggles in & out that gate every time. Have I gone deaf? My ears hurt. Ooh weird, oh not to worry cages clattering.
• 2 Jun 9.13 Woohoo! Just had phone call from #Asda apologising for last night & they're trying to get it sorted. Apparently they're having depot issues.
• 2 Jun 19.13 Had another phone call from #Asda #LangleyMill to warn us of impending late noise tonight. My #Clampit impression must have been scary :-D
• 3 Jun 00.22 #Asda's promised late delivery has arrived. I don't honestly know what to make of them telling me, as they always have one at this time.

During my phone-call from Asda, I was - as is their wont - assured that Asda don't receive deliveries during the night and this was only a one off as they were having problems at their depot. The ACTUAL manager was on the phone to them about my complaint of that moron blaring the horn six times just before 3.00am. To be honest in my opinion, Asda is just a cheap business, run on a shoestring and bugger anyone who lives nearby because they'll just lie to you, even with the evidence of their own eyes.

Update 9th July: 

As I said at the start, I saved the above for when we went home again to either NOT publish because Asda in their wisdom decided to give me some peace; having promised to sort things out regards night time noise. Or more likely for when I was going to be in another bad mood, i.e. when Asda next kept me awake. Unfortunately my brain is so fuzzy from lack of sleep when I'm at home that this has had to wait until I was 'tin-hutted' again.

We were at home for 139 hours (Tuesday afternoon - Monday morning), in that time Asda and the feral pack of teenagers that roam Langley Mill's streets at night allowed me to sleep all of 16 hours; and none of them were undisturbed. 

Anyway, it's safe to say that Asda staff talk a load of BO**OCKS. Nothing whatsoever has changed. I was up all night alternately working and tweeting - but we're already bored with the last lot so I'm not repeating them - again last week while we were home.

What I really can't stand and take exception to, is the bare faced lies senior Asda staff tell about their deliveries 'never happening at night unless they're late'. I counted seven deliveries in one night between 2.50am and 7.00am. Time you stopped lying Asda, and it's also time I stopped giving you the chance to improve because you'll never - voluntarily - do it ...

I Love Heanor

And of course a bit of obligatory moaning from yours truly.

Write in the book about why you love Heanor and get a cookie

There was a bit of a meeting at top o' t' hill in t' market square for people who love Heanor. It was cold and wet but we were all cheerful.

We had our photo taken from the top of the church with telephone instructions from up there about where we should stand to create a heart shape. And for anyone who doesn't recognise me, I was the one in the red coat - and white knickers with red hearts on - holding a red balloon.

Look up and wave that balloon!

I'm glad I went as I do love Heanor and have done since the first day I arrived there in November 1979.

It's still a mystery about who organised the event which came into being through Facebook  and Twitter. Whoever it is could do with following some of their followers on Twitter as there's no interaction without doing so, unlike on Facebook. 

There's a super write up about the event over at TheBestOfHeanorAndRipley  Which saves me writing much.

I love Heanor too

Just as well really as my brain is not firing on all cylinders after last nights escapades by our local yoofs and yoofesses ... shouting, screaming, bawling, squealing up and down Bridge Street and banging on the bridge hour after hour.

Plus Network Rail decided that last night was a good time to hoik up the tracks and/or sleepers with lots of clanking for that special night-time effect, and then spin dry the stones ... well that's what it sounded like. And they move along the track at about two inches a minute so plenty of listening time. My brain fizzled out at about 3.00am.

Then dear old Chavsda woke me up at 7.05am - yawn ...

Ignorance Is Bliss

We'd been back from the tin hut by the sea for a few days but had relatively little to moan about - apart from the usual Asda wa**ers  keeping me awake in the night, and yes Bernard I finally gave in and tried earplugs but I couldn't hear anything, so had to get rid of them - the main reason for the lack of grumpiness is that I've had lots of work to do in rather a hurry, and so was cocooned in my own little bubble, totally cut off from the outside ... during this glorious weather [so I heard] boo hoo, sob.

Of course I emerged from behind my magnifying lamp eventually [Saturday] and truly wished I hadn't, it was much nicer being oblivious to Langley Mill's youff-dom.

First of all we'd returned from a family visit and we were reading a notice - about footpaths 53 and Pottery Lane - that had been attached to Mr HH's fence, but some cretin decided it needed pulling off. I waited while my grumpy old man attempted to reattach it.

During this I heard one of those mini-motorbike whatstits whizzing along Pottery Lane, and then I watched in amazement as this head went backwards and forwards - at speed - down the ramp onto Bridge Street, finally revealing itself as the tw*t on the bike. Me being me and not at all being able to keep my mouth shut, I shouted ... 'this is a footpath, not a motorbike route'.

This surly teenager totally ignored my remonstration and stopped just short of running into me. I then said ... 'I suppose you expect me to move for you' ... reply 'grunt' ... 'well, I'm not'. He had actually got a voice other than the customary teenage grunt, as he said he'd go in front of me... which he did, almost running my GOM over - while he was still farting about with that bloody notice. The youff then carried on a third of the way down Bridge Street and up an entry ... I've no idea who he is.

Having now been let loose from my workspace I decided to reacquaint myself with 'bigjobs' my super computer, this meant being in the spare room for an hour or two, tut, what a mistake. If I were anywhere else I wouldn't be able to witness more twa**ing youffs trying to break things on HH land. I may start locking myself away in a cupboard somewhere.

Much later, after examining the contents - or lack of - in my fridge, freezer and cupboards, I announced to grumpy that I was off to - begrudgingly - spend some money at that biggish corner shop just over the way. He came with me to carry my debit card.

Just before we got to our peasants ramp up to Asda we passed four girls, all about twelve or thirteen years old, pleasant and giggly, but I could have knocked their heads together ... or glared at my GOM for doing it [we've all inherited this 'glare' from my mother - it's horrible].

It ... being walk on the road to go around them as they steadfastly stuck to walking four abreast ... not me, oh no, I've finally realised who the tw*ts are, and it's us for moving out of their way, time and time again, this time I was prepared to clash elbows and anything else that got in my way as I walked along the edge of the kerb [yes I know, I'm still making way for them].

This is NOT purely a Langley Mill phenomenon as it is much discussed amongst us - tin hut dwellers - at Winthorpe [Skeggy]. We have compared notes on numerous occasions about how we automatically shift out of the way.

I was brought up to ALWAYS move for anyone older than myself - which at my age is getting increasingly more difficult - this included giving up my seat on a bus as well as moving to one side while walking along a street. To be honest I've probably forgotten how old I am when I get out of the way, but not any more!

In future, if anyone younger than me expects me to move to one side for them, they're in for a shock, cos I'm not moving - hmm, this is all supposing I remember [being my age means I'm forgetful - apparently]. In fact, just to make sure I get in someone's way, I'm off out right now to stand in the middle of a pavement somewhere ...

Bored Teenagers in Langley Mill

We were only back a day from our tin hut by the sea before I was phoning the police - as per Mr Heanor Haulage's request when we see trespassers on his yard. Although they could have taken what they wanted for all I cared, if HH aren't going to provide security with all the money they've been given for different bits of land - well tough.

My concern was that it was dusk and there was one loony walking along our back wall - I'd just gone to turn my computer off and was stunned to see this crackpot behaviour. The wall in question is one brick thick and at least twelve or thirteen feet high, he was asking to break his neck ... yeah, OK I admit it, I shouted 'I hope you fall off and break your neck, you tw*t', through the window - but that's me, I'm quite horrible - but I would have been devastated if he did fall [and broke anything of mine].

There they were, running around the yard, acting ever so big, climbing up onto things, trying to shove one flatbed off of another [I've mentioned that HH double decker them. When they failed to push one off they climbed on top and started jumping up and down, hmm, so that's how they reached the outbuildings wall.

Of course by the time the police arrived they'd climbed up onto something and jumped back out of the compound. I was called back by the police twice, firstly to make sure where it was actually happening [as Heanor Haulage is still classed as being on Wesley Street]. Secondly to ask if they'd got a football with them. I wasn't about to get anyone into trouble that weren't involved so answered quite truthfully that there were already lads on the rec playing football [although they may have been part of the same group].

Two days went by and the police rang again to thank me and to ask if it was an ongoing problem with teenagers playing on HH compound. I replied that they do mess about on there every so often. An email was going to be sent to Langley Mill police, even though I said that I thought they'd be aware of the problem. I was asked if I'd mind the police visiting for a chat. Hmmm.

Yes, that very afternoon ... what the police? no, don't be daft, they were doing more important stuff [this really is trivial until someone gets a spike up their a**e or killed].
The same lads running around HH and climbing on things. Oh heck another one climbing over the fence, watching that really did make me wince. After they made a few more calls to their mates they went onto the front [slurry corner] where three more climbed over - the sissy way - to join them.

Note to anyone who wants to know - Mr HH, police - it's easy to get in just there, even I could manage it at a push ... with a stepladder of course, I'm not cocking my leg up for anyone.

By the time they'd done a bit of sunbathing on the flatbeds and tried to get the crane started they must have lost interest and decided to visit Asda before returning to Queen Street recreation ground.

Now I want to make it VERY clear that it wasn't me being nosy - I was trying to pursue my latest and not inexpensive hobby but the grumpy old man kept asking me ... 'Have you got your camera handy?' and 'Can you see what the tw*ts are up to now!?' it was easier to stand there like a nodding dog by his side at the window than spend my hard earned dosh at ebay.

I didn't ring the police as it's mostly a waste of time, but someone else may have done because a police car was parked on our street. A few minutes later a policeman came back with several bottles that he'd taken from them. This was witnessed by my GOM [who else?], as by this time I'd managed to velcro my a**e to my chair and was spend, spend spending!

So, they were not only stupidly climbing over a high spiked fence but also thinking they could do it easily without putting a foot wrong due to alcohol ... tw*ts.

Minutes later a woman turned up with a fresh supply of drink in a carrier bag. I'm not suggesting for a minute that it was alcohol but they did hide it in the bushes.

Oh incidentally, my superzoom, whizzo camera was glued to my sticky right mitt during bits of this activity and I took a clear photo of each and every one of them - now deleted from my camera as I don't keep crap on it. But, ahem, there is a photo CD knocking around somewhere among my stuff, entitled 'Tw*ts of Langley Mill' .

I wish they'd find something less stupid and dangerous to do during the school holidays or at least do it where I and - much more importantly - my grumpy old man can't see them ...