I was just doing the ironing - I’m one of the few people I know who doesn’t mind ironing, but then I never have a lot to do as there’s only two of us, plus I drift off into my own little world.
I noticed that three tops I ironed one after the other were all from Peacocks, ‘hmm’, I thought, ‘I’ve not bought anything from there in ages - and when did I last go to Next or New Look ... was it even this century?!’
Next up were a pair of cords from Bon Marche - YIKES!!! They’re beige, with comfy side elastication! When did this happen to me?
I stood there while my colour drained away [I went a bit of a beigy shade], mentally going through my wardrobe for items in beige:-
- comfy cords
- not so comfy, wedgie-bum jeans [I had been thinking of throwing these away]
- 3 pairs cropped trousers
- 2 pairs shorts
- sleeveless top
- short sleeved cardigan
- a very long cardigan
- 3 bags
They were the ones I could instantly bring to mind. When did this happen? Do our brains turn to mush at a certain age, telling us that we look good in beige?
And when did the transition from Peacocks to Bon Marche happen? Oh I say! I’ve even got a Bon Marche loyalty card. I'm just one small step away from shopping in the Marks and Spencers section of elasticated waist trousers in some crimpleny, polyester non-crease stuff in varying leg lengths.
It must be shopping with my crumbly friend that has aged me - yet she doesn’t wear beige and people comment on how elegant yet trendy she looks - that’s my influence on her I’ll have you know!
OH NO!! I dyed my hair yesterday - it’s beige.
Even worse - the grumpy old man has finally proposed to me and we’re getting engaged on my birthday [just an excuse for a ring]. I was cruising t’interweb for diamond rings after looking in all the jewellers at Skegness and rather a lot more in Nottingham, when ‘Champagne Diamonds’ caught my eye.
Yes, he’s bought me one - and hidden it away until the big day. It’s really, really lovely - but ‘Champagne’ is just another word for bloody BEIGE! …