Weight Gain!!

We all know that I switched to a daily fast last  May - I've still been jigging that about changing hours here and there - but I managed to gain 3lbs at the beginning November ... YIKES!!!

Now there's two things I may have changed or done wrong. One is that we came home from the tin hut, had loads of work to do and I didn't shift off my derrière. The other is the one I've been afraid would happen all along and that is I've cut my calories down to a ridiculous level. It wasn't done in a stupid attempt to get thin, and I'm not deluded when I look in the mirror - well, not too much - I know/think I'm not fat. But just to maintain my weight - with no exercise - meant I had to virtually stop eating.

Well that just ar*ed up the metabolism more - and don't let's forget I'm at a very tricky age, I'm seriously knocking on the menopause door to be let in/out.

Anyhoo, through November I'd gradually ended up eating less and less to the point where I was only having two decent meals a week and fasting 23 hours for 5 days a week and living on Muesli or ham/prawn/chicken salad ... except for the one or two days we ate out.

So, in an attempt to get my metabolism firing on all cylinders, I went back to 4:3 for a fortnight, where I actually had to eat more than I had been doing. I was - almost - prepared to gain a little more weight but seriously 4lbs more!! Yes, I gained 2lbs each week. I only had breakfast twice in that time and didn't enjoy it as I was no longer used to eating before 1.30pm.

Now what was I supposed to do? Well, I went back to my daily fasts as that's what I now preferred  but I stopped being quite so strict. Instead of 5x23 hour fasts I did 3x23, 2x18 and 2x16 hour fasts every week, and more importantly decided the work could wait and we went for a couple of long walks.

Unbelievably I lost the 7lbs gained in just a few days. I know most of it was probably water I'd got sloshing through my system, but it shows how my body needed to move more just to maintain its optimum weight ... I say optimum, I could still do with losing a few more pounds, but at my age, short of living on fresh air, it's not going to happen.

Having brought up my problems in our ADF maintenance group, another lady of a similar age said that she'd had exactly the same problem. Stopped walking - gained weight. This made me feel loads better ... and I think it's really important to be in contact with a group of people doing the same/similar thing, so we can discuss where we may be going wrong - mainly because we're guinea pigs and we've no one else to turn to - as well as giving each other tips, ideas and motivation WITHOUT HAVING TO PAY!!

Uho, December arrived, along with all that goes with it. Now the first year I followed a fasting lifestyle, I continued to do 4:3 throughout the month, only dropping to 5:2 for Christmas and New Year. Last year I had parents both ill and dropping like flies, so I ate when I could which was usually nothing throughout the day and one meal in the evening. This maintained my weight even though it was the last thing on my mind. This year I decided to let myself go. Hmmmmm, will someone please tell me why?

Over Christmas/New Year I regained those 7lbs so recently lost, and another of their little chubby chums came along for the ride. When the festivities had died down - OK, more accurately, after I'd eaten all the Christmas cake, home made truffles, trifle and other sweet stuff I don't really like but forced down anyway ... I discovered that it's sugar my body hates. All my joints ached, I was bunged up with man-flu every morning, I broke out in teenage spots - a nice change from wrinkles - and I was shuffling around like an old woman again ... rather than whizzing around in the best of health like the recycled teenager I'd become.

So, since then I went back to my proper daily fasts - although I didn't actually give them up over the holidays, but I ate far too much crap - I felt loads better but hadn't actually lost any weight, I strongly suspect my metabolism is sniggering at me from behind my left shoulder as I type. It is clearly fed up of me cutting down to the point where it has to make every calorie stretch.

Having still lost hardly any weight after a month - sigh - I've given in and gone back to 4:3, which is guaranteed to work ... as long as I remember to eat properly on the 4 up days. After doing a daily fast where I never eat before 1.30pm - usually later - then finish eating by 8.00pm, this is hard to get my head around ... again.

Anyhoo, one week of 4:3 and - drum roll - I gained 1lb. But as was pointed out yesterday by my lovely, sweet, soon to be ex-grumpy old man when I was swearing at the demon scales ... 'I hadn't shifted off my ar*e all week'. There will be walking done next week, at least as far as the solicitors to see about my divorce ha ha ha ha ha.

I will continue to make note of what I'm doing and where things go wrong so that I can say with authority ... "I wouldn't try that if I were you" ...

Update March:

I eventually lost all my extra pounds - with an odd weird gain towards the end (9lbs in 3 days), which disappeared as quickly as it arrived. I put this down to my muscles being sore when I started using the 'torture machine'. I have gone back to my preferred intermittent fasting and am once again maintaining my less portly figure ...

.....

1. Me and Alternate Day Fasting
2. Me and Alternate Day Fasting ... Three Weeks On
3. Five Weeks of Alternate Day Fasting
4. Eight Weeks of Alternate Day Fasting
5. Ten Weeks of Alternate Day Fasting
6. Alternate Day Fasting Three Months On
7. Alternate Day Fasting in Winter
8. Alternate Day Fasting Over Christmas
9. Me and Zumba
10. Saying Goodbye To My Curves 
11. Eight Months Of Alternate Day Fasting And Me
12. Growing Up 
13. A Year Of Alternate Day Fasting 
14. 60 Pounds Of Blubber - Vanished
15. The Perils of Alternate Day Fasting 
16. Mr Grumpy Is Losing It
17. Mr Grumpy Has Lost It
18. Fasting For Maintenance
19. Tweaking Maintenance
20. Weight Gain 
21. Still Maintaining
22. Four Years Of Intermittent Fasting

  .....

• ADF Facebook Group ... come and join us :)

Langley Mill Post Office Closed - Temporarily

Just a little post to let people of Langley Mill know that the post office is closed until Thursday February 5th for refurbishment.

I espied the scrap of paper - masquerading as a notice - in the window of this sorry establishment on my way to Chavsda where I went to stock up on the few things I can't get from Lidl.

Of course it's not going to affect me in any way because I do all my post officing in Eastwood, where they manage to string whole sentences together without scowling at you.

Gawd knows what they're refurbishing as there was next to nowt in there to refurbish, we'll have to wait and see ...

Christmas Present Wrapping

One's husband made himself busy wrapping one's Christmas pressies today - bless him.

While this marathon task was happening I wandered into the bedroom carrying fresh out of the dryer - are we ironing these? not on your Nelly, it's Christmas - clothes, and I was told not to look ... so I didn't.

Then he came downstairs with one wrapped item, again I was told "don't look". In fact, he went as far as to turn my head the other way. He nearly got my duster stuffed up his nose. Then when said item had been placed in the living room I was told that I HAD to go and look NOW! Even though I know exactly what it is, so had no idea why I had to go and 'admire' this, ahem, mystery present.

For the next hour I could hear paper being torn and the sellotape machine whizzing away and he was making his usual - I'm working so hard "phew" noises - and then he shouted down to me ... "it's never ending this lot".

Well, it serves him right. I bought everything myself and stuck it in a box for him to wrap well over two weeks ago.

Uho, we've now had an "oh dear, I'll be glad when I've done this, I'm sweating" ... moan.

At least he won't be doing anything dopy like wrapping the envelopes I'd bought last year for the Christmas cards I was making - which never got finished as mum died last year on 9th Dec, the day before her 75th birthday. And then we had to take dad into the hospice for Christmas straight after her funeral on the 20th, so life then was a bit of a blur - and I'd accidentally left the envelopes in with my bag of pressies so he wrapped 'em. I still can't believe he did that ...

Three - Pain in the Derrière

After successfully fending off seven phone calls in the last four days from the Three network - I asked Google who was calling me - I finally gave in and answered my phone

"Hello, I'm calling from Three, your network provider" ... "yeah" ... "am I speaking to Mrs W?" ... "yes and no, I've changed my name to Mrs something else" ... "OK, Mrs W, ma'am, as you're such a privileged customer of Three, I've got some offers just for you" ... "I've changed my name" ... "I must tell you first that this call may be recorded for training purposes" ... "yeah, and I'm recording it for stopping annoying phone call purposes".

"Ma'am can I ask what phones and networks other members of your are family on? ... Blah blah blah.
Tuning back in two mins later after telling her grumpy does NOT need to join Three with a fabby new phone on any kind of contract ...

"What type of touch phone (her words) would you like ma'am, Android or Windows? ... "Android" ... any particular phone ma'am, Mrs W?" ... "I rather fancy the Samsung galaxy s5 mini" ... "oh, that's a lovely choice Mrs W, ma'am, but what I can offer you ma'am is Samsung galaxy s5 for £28 month with nothing to pay up front" ... "I don't want a Samsung s5, it's too big" ... "but it's screen is 5 inches ma'am" ... "I don't want 5 inches, I want 4.3 or 4.5 maximum" ... "it's unlocked, I'm sure you know what that means ma'am" ... "I don't want it" ... "You can use it as a hotspot, it's got 4g, 600 mins, unlimited texts, free 0800 calls, cheap 0845 calls. Ma'am you're privileged as an excellent customer" ... "I don't want it, I'm ending this call now, goodbye" ... "witter, witter ma'am ...

My Christmas Grotto

Saturday:
I'd had to buy a new phone as my poor old Samsung Galaxy s2 - aka Freddy - was starting to fail. Sadly it died today, and ironically almost the very last thing it did for me was to check the whereabouts of my soon to be Samsung Galaxy s5 mini in electric blue.

I tried to revive Freddy using my usual method of hoiking out the battery, making rash promises about not dropping him on the floor daily and alternating between threatening to throw him at the wall and giving him the kiss of life. Alas he didn't respond other than getting hot, so I've had to accept that he's gone to Galaxy heaven ... RIP Freddy Phone.

Monday:
My fabulous phone that I'd ordered from Dubai - thus making it over £100 cheaper - arrived today, therefore I was busy tweaking ... no time for Christmas decorations.

Tuesday:
My fabby new phone - aka Truffles - has now been rooted. I could no longer cope with being so restricted on what I could do with it ... even less time for Christmas decorations other than fetching them from the attic to the back bedroom.

Wednesday:
Not entirely sure I'm happy with my fabby new phone. Got back in the car at Newark after traipsing around town for HOURS. And the pedometer thingy just popped up to tell me I'd achieved 50% of my target FOR THE DAY!  Well, that can just sod off!!

Hmmm, I suppose I could have sat shaking my phone while I drank my Guinness and ate my philly steak sandwich, chips and onion rings, but I didn't want to smear it up with cheese and pepper sauce. I will try harder tomorrow ... to do the other 5,000 steps.

Thursday:
As Christmas was fetched from the attic Tuesday afternoon with the aid of my butler/chauffeur. This morning 3/4 of it - still two mega-humungous cartons to bring down - has made its way to the dining room.

I did this all by myself, whilst the aforementioned butler/chauffeur did important stuff ... checking his bets and blood pressure - not necessarily in that order.

I forgot to have my new super duper smartarse phone about my person so I don't know how many effin steps I've done. I estimate at least 15,000 so that's finished yesterday off, and I've covered today's steps already - never mind that it only says 471 - I'm good.

Later the same day:

I finished grottoing the front room, except I need a new candle bridge doodah, mine has given up the ghost but I have had it since I was at Aristoc - about 20 years ago - so can't complain. I also decorated the kitchen and dining room, except for my snowy village, I always do that the day after as it takes ages and I get snow everywhere.

After I finally sat down, hours and hours later, Grumpy took it upon himself to tell me my cross stitched Santas picture wasn't straight. I told him ... "you go up the stepladders once and it gives you the right to pick fault" ... git!

Friday:
I did the village. Maybe you can tell I love Christmas decorations.

I wouldn't mind doing all this if it didn't seem like it was only last week when I put it all away. I'm not bothering next year, it can all stop up because:

a. I'm not here most of the summer.
b. no one visits me so it doesn't matter ...

Heanor Haulage STILL Here ... and Asda's Extension

Fed up, hardly slept last night - Mr Grumpy gave in and got up before 4.00am - and H-effin-H have been here since before 8.00am with their crane and railway tracks ... again.

Along with Asda's chuffin deliveries and extension being built - and their appalling night time customers and twatting revving up car park racers - I'm ready to go live in a tent somewhere up a mountain ... as long as it's got central heating and a big bath.

Gawd knows what it'll be like when they start clearing up Heanor Haulage's crap and building the new 'dwellings' and access to them. And we still don't know what is going to happen to the HH land on the front.

Hopefully whatever they do, will be done next summer when we can escape, too bad for the other Bridge Street residents ...

On a happier note - for Langley Mill - after the success of the summer festival on Cromford Road, they're holding something similar - Cromford Road Christmas Festival - on Saturday 6th December when the road is closed between 4-9pm. I look forward to it ...

Black Friday in Middle England

Can anyone explain why nearly every email I'm getting this week is offering me 'Black Friday' DAILY deals?? I thought for Black Friday we had to have thanksgiving first.

And seeing as we're NOT having thanksgiving - being English (ok, British) last time I checked - I have to wonder why this is yet another commercial bandwagon we've jumped on.

And I've checked the 'deals' I'm interested in and they're the same price as last time I looked. With the quoted pre-sale price being a week in the middle of summer when I wouldn't have bought any of the items anyway ... I do believe I'm having a déjà vu moment ...

One Way Traffic?

We've just received our parish magazine, and it appears that our illustrious local council has submitted comments at AVBC - on the proposed extra 58 rabbit hutches, oops dwellings (along with the 60 already passed) - for a recommendation of a one way traffic system, using Bridge Street AND Dean Street - ahhh, bless, they'll have to be disturbed - to relieve traffic issues.

Well, they won't take any notice of my comments - they never do - so fingers crossed they WILL take notice of our parish council ...

Blue Plates for Little Dinners

A friend on Facebook commented on a photo I shared - of my dinner at Wetherspoons - that blue plates can be used as an appetite suppressant. It must be noted that I rarely manage to eat all my Wetherspoons dinner, even though it's my first meal of the day and I'm proper hungry by the time it arrives around 2.00pm. There's no real problem there though as I have my very own grumpy dustbin with me and he always helps me out.

Of course I had to have a look at these appetite suppressant claims for myself - well I asked Google ... as you do. Hmmmm, It extends far beyond the plates. Decor is involved too.

My dining room is predominantly yellow/gold with only a smattering of blue/green/orange - oops - and my plates are of a similar hue - oops again. I will have to fetch out my royal blue - with gold stars - Christmas table cloth earlier than usual ... that'll be tomorrow then.

McDonalds - aka McCrap - are playing with our noshing senses by using yellow and red lighting. Even I'm not impervious to the warm glow emanating from the McLitter corner of Langley Mill ... no I don't go in and order anything, but I've noticed by the time I get home that I'm actually dribbling ;)

And if you're a fridge raider, it's recommended that you use a blue light in there ... or simply cover the bulb with the blue chocolate wrapper in your hand.

Fortunately I only go in my fridge when it needs filling or emptying, and isn't the sort of place I'd look for a snack ... on the other hand, the inside of my nut cupboard is gleaming white ... and filled with red (chocolate) tins and orange (Jacobs) cracker boxes where my nut stash is held captive ...

Charity Phone Calls

I'm afraid the British Red Cross has just lost out on a donation. I've had loads of crap from them through the letter box - odd Christmas cards, couple of robin coasters, a calendar, pen etc - so I was prepared to do my duty of an online donation ... when I was ready.

Yesterday evening I received a  phone call from them virtually demanding £15 a month by direct debit. I told the pushy 'saleswoman' that I already give to charities of my choice and I'm not setting up a direct debit to donate £15 a month to any one charity.

She switched down a notch telling me about how with training, someone had saved the life of a two month old ... this was after the hard sell of Ebola. And would I donate a little less than £15 a month. I just said "goodbye".

I already give £15 by direct debit to various charities every month and usually - if I'm feeling flush or a particular sad Sri Lankan dog or cat needs my pennies - I donate £20 to Dogstar. I WON'T be made to feel guilty by cold callers and their hard sell methods.

So British Red Cross - you're getting bugger all now. I've now given your prospective share to Dogstar Foundation!

Anyway I think charities have had quite enough out of me lately. I regularly send lots of clothes to their shops. And they've done especially well this week because some dope took the wrong bags - I was swapping summer for winter clothes in my wardrobe - I could hardly sleep last night after going in the shop yesterday and spotting some of my clothes, although I didn't see my lovely brand new skirt with the £39.50 price tag still on it! ...

Glad To Be Back :(

Monday:

H-effin-H have been playing with two cranes, numerous lorries and railway tracks across from us since 8.30 this morning - and they were still at it gone 6.30pm.

It was pointed out by my neighbour that HH waited for me to come home, ha di ha ha :(

Tuesday:

HeanorHaulage clearly hate me, they've been bringing the railway tracks back since 7.30am.

So much for council rules on what they can do on that land and at what time of the day - ie "everything indoors and only between 8.30-18.00".

Deliberately being away for my birthday - and bonfire night - meant that I didn't have to phone 999 when Mr HH and his minion set fire to things. Why he should think bonfire night provides him with a licence to burn old containers etc, behind us I don't know.

On a more positive note, Asda have closed in their loading dock so the lights no longer shine in my bedroom and - so far - they haven't woken me with night time deliveries. I bet that doesn't last.

Wednesday:

Asda clearly hate me. Work is being done on their warehouse extension, which involves enormous amounts of reverse bleep-bloody-bleeping. This is very reminiscent of when they built the damn place only four years ago.

Oh and now their gardener is doing what he does best - using his blower to blow the crap back off the pavement and back on to Asda's, ahem garden ... obviously we have lots of McDonalds plants growing there.

Thursday:

Escaped after being woken by bleep-bloody-bleep before 8.00am.

Friday:

Really fed up of Asda and their new extension being built. The 'cherry picker' is none stop bleep-bloody-bleep. this is whether it goes up, down, left, right, backwards or effin forwards. Every day this week from before 8.00am. I can cope better with their drilling and hammering.

And now H-effin-H are here with their crane AGAIN for the third time. Not sure if the railway tracks are coming or going as the lorries aren't here yet (8.00) and I may have missed them yesterday.

Won't it be fun when H-effin-H build the 120ish new houses behind and next to us ... and extending our little street to serve them all? I'm really looking forward to that ...

Last Trip Home

I hate today. I've got to put everything away and wigwam the furniture - this includes the bed I'm still in, and not wanting to get out of.

All this has to be done around a frantically yowling cat - who is also still in bed yet - I'd put her outside in her carrier but it's too cold and damp for her old bones.

Then we've got to splodge through wet muddy grass to the car - which is parked miles away near the gas tank, with bags and bags and bags of important stuff that I can't live without.

Fingers crossed the car is ok this time. The last few years it's thrown a wobbly for our last trip home. First it wasn't firing on all cylinders and we were really struggling to get going after every junction ... 0-60 in 10 mins.

Then two years ago we'd packed the car, went for a last look at the sea and his window wouldn't go back up.

It was getting dark, pouring with rain, and the AA man - who couldn't fix it - drained the battery and we had to stay another day - I had to unload the car - again splodging through wet muddy grass while the window had a plastic bag taped over it.

Thankfully the on-site boys got us going next morning with jump leads from the tractor and the window was - temporarily - fixed at a local garage.

Mr Grumpy was NOT his usual happy self and I was in meltdown because we'd got a wedding to go to and my dress still didn't fit ...

How Now Black Cow

Anyone who knows my grumpy old man, knows that he likes to keep me happy. This includes agreeing with me at every opportunity ... I think this is due to his previous good training as it's not actually one of my requirements. And because of how I word things - being somewhat evil and enjoying watching him cogitate - he often gets it wrong.

I can practically hear the cogs trundling around until he hits on what he thinks is the correct answer ... "Yes!" he'll say - eventually - "No" I'll reply because I'd worded it back to front ... "I meant no, it just came out as yes". And then we'd giggle like the recycled teenagers we are.

However, his worst faux pas are always when he doesn't give himself time to think, his brain must see green lights pinging on and out he comes with his answer ... just like this morning.

We'd been to Gibraltar Point yesterday with my 'bells and whistles' camera to take photos of bods (birds), seals, black sheep, trees, fungi and owt else I spot, whilst also teaching himself to use my old camera ... I mostly find photos of my ar*e when we get back, I really must make him walk in front of me.

Anyway, I woke up itching this morning and discovered two mosquito (whatever) bites on my legs, even though I'd been wearing black leggings.

"Hmmmm - scratch, scratch - the little ba***rds must have thought I was a black cow" ... and quick as a flash he replied ... "yes they must".

So there we have it, I now know that my husband thinks I look like a cow in leggings ...

Happy Halloween

I know we've caught up with the Americans and gone pumpkin crazy at Halloween, but can anyone remember 'carving' a turnip/Swede?

Now that took some doing. First cutting the top off, then hacking out the insides for the candle. Making eye and mouth holes and side holes for the string to carry it. Finally adding a candle  which was invariably too big so needed burning down a bit first.

Then we used to wander around with our 'scary' turnip ... no trick or treating though, that didn't arrive at our shores until much later.

We had mischievous night on 4th November instead which was no more annoying than ringing doorbells, knocking on doors and running away - we weren't very inventive - except the time we'd been to the chippy and flicked mushy peas at windows. Obviously we got caught and had to clean all the windows.

Then we had bonfire night - properly - on the 5th of November instead of the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th etc.

Ahh, those were the days ...

Boyes For Heanor

At last, a breath of life for Heanor.

W Boyes & Co to open in the old Somerfields store.

Having shopped regularly at Boyes in Newark and more recently in Eastwood, I can say this can only be a good thing and just what Heanor needs. I hope it encourages more businesses back into our lovely town ...