The Not So Secret Diary of a Grumpess: 2012

Monday, 24 December 2012

Alternate Day Fasting In Winter :(

Well, it was bound to happen. I've hit one or two snags with this lifestyle. Weight loss has dribbled down to half to one pound a week. But this is fine and not bothering me too much. Whereas if I was on an actual diet and putting in more effort regards yummy food deprivation, calorie or point counting, I'd be severely unimpressed and certain to be on the verge of giving in ... if I was still even dieting by this time.

The biggest problem - and I'm not alone with this in the northern hemisphere - is the biting cold on down days. Sometimes it's painful, especially in my lower legs, feet and hands.

Get off your bum and move about, I hear you say. I would if I could, my job is sitting down with little real movement for several hours at a time. When I do move (usually once every couple of hours to visit the bathroom) it takes some getting going as I'm so stiff.

I thought that I'd lose weight with my body using fuel to keep warm, this isn't how it works, my body is saving it all for important things like keeping my organs functioning and my core temperature up ... and as far as it's concerned, my extremities can just drop off.

It is not helped one iota by me being at a delicate age - which we've covered in two ... previous posts - where I am adding extra layers of clothing one minute, throwing them on the floor the next, only to grab them back because I'm shivering within the next two minutes ... and we're not even going to mention what it's like in bed, apart from the fact that the duvet is a 4.5 tog and is w-a-y too hot.

The other day I was in Asda, my parka coat zipped up to the eyebrows - because I was freeeeezing. Half way around the coat came off - I was roasting. Then it was back on. By the time I'd reached the chillers I was stood holding my coat wide open and my body as far as I could get it into the chiller without actually melting the cheeses ... good job I didn't do it near the butter, it wouldn't have stood a chance. Never at any point did my hands and feet get warm.

I'm not sure how much the alternate day fasting is affecting my hormonal problems (there, I've said it) but I'm seriously considering doing ADF maintenance for the next couple of months until it warms up. This means that on my three weekly down days I'll have between 800-1000 calories.

The alternative - which is quite obvious now I think about it - is to have my meals earlier on to keep me warm throughout the day, and hopefully cooler at night ... This is to be my next experiment and I'll keep you posted.

There has been loose talk among us ADF-ers about combining Fast-5 with ADF, I always failed before I even got up by NEEDING a biscuit with my coffee in bed on an up morning. This is something I may try next year if I hit a weight loss plateau.

Fast-5 is where you eat your normal (sensible) amount of calories, within the same 5 hour window daily, creating a 19 hour fast where your body starts to use your reserves of fat, albeit very slowly.

And my current weight loss so far with no real effort on my part is - drum roll - 35lb ...

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ADF Facebook Group ... come and join us :)

Thursday, 20 December 2012

Roadworks Langley Mill January 2013

Just a little warning that from the 7th January next year, there will be roadworks in the area of the Asda roundabout for 3 weeks ... presumably to improve the layout of said roundabout as it's long been established that it's dangerous.

Considering that everyone that uses this roundabout, either falls in the 'oblivious of other road users' category or into the 'second guessing what the first lot are doing' category. This is long overdue.

Of course, I may be totally wrong - who me? - and the promised improvements aren't going to happen at all and they're just making the road ready for McDonalds ...

Update 26th December:

Having been out yesterday via the roundabout at Eastwood - a few yards up the road from Asda roundabout - I noticed the signs there informing us that roadworks to repair the safety barriers start on the same day as the ones in Langley Mill. These will last 12 weeks.

Do neighbouring councils not consult one another about impending roadworks to minimise disruption? ...

Christmas Opening Times For Langley Mill Asda And Post office

click on photo and it will enlarge

I thought I'd better remember to do the opening hours for the Christmas holidays. It's amazing how many people search for this information and trip over my blog

Asda usually have little cards with opening times that you can pick up at the checkout, but I was told by a lady at Asda last night that they were printed incorrectly so hadn't been used ... I'm not sure if this is true as my neighbour has got one :-/

Anyway, I took the above photo of the sign there.

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Post Office opening:

Monday 24th ........... 9.00-12.30
Tuesday 25th .......... CLOSED
Wednesday 26th ..... CLOSED
Thursday 27th ......... 9.00-5.30
Friday 28th .............. 9.00-5.30
Saturday 29th ......... 9.00-12.30

Sunday, 16 December 2012

Adoption Of Pottery Lane

From a Comment by fellow grumpy ALI:

Report from page 4 of the January 2012 Parish Magazine :-

ITEM 2 - Adoption of Pottery Lane as a public footpath (£57,000 allocated)

a. Pottery Lane has been adopted as a footpath and will be resurfaced.
b. AVBC will look at the feasibility of including lighting and seats in development.
c. It is anticipated work will commence in the second quarter of 2012.

NOTE: the TOTAL gifted by Asda of £57,000 has yet to be spent, this is from a Report of a Meeting of Connecting Communities on TUESDAY, 29th November 2011 ! ! !

Hopefully we ALL anticipate something being done in 2013 ! ! !

Wednesday, 12 December 2012

Langley Mill's Christmas Lights 2012

This lamppost evidently deserved a 'whole' tree

Just a short one this time ... and this would have been done much sooner had Sky asked BT to flick the damn switch back on at the exchange for our phone and broadband:

I thought I'd better pass comment on our Christmas lights this year seeing as I've done nowt but moan about them previous years.

langley mill's christmas lights 2009
getting excited 2010
asdas christmas lights event donation 2011
langley mill's christmas lights 2011

Well the one's we've got now - new, not second hand cast-offs, I believe - are all remarkably similar, the only difference being whether a lamppost gets one or two Christmas trees, making half a tree or a whole one.

They look nice and twinkly at night and quite treey by day. Better still they're solar powered ... hmmm, this solar bit in all honesty looks naff, it would have been nicer if it could have been star shaped, but that's probably just me being pedantic.

Asda donated £2,000 for last year's lights which was too late to use. I'm not sure who else has donated yet or if Asda has done so again this year. Someone is bound to tell me if they have, and I'll update accordingly.

Because the lampposts shouldn't need testing first - and there's no electric bill - there's only the expense of 'putting 'em up, taking 'em down' , so these Christmas trees should prove a winner (in certain quarters) ... or would do if there was a bit more variety and colour - red tub, green tree, white lights ... yawn.

Car Wash dump of Langley Mill

I took lots of photos of different lampposts as we flashed past in the car - my chauffeur was kind enough to slow down for me - but as there wasn't much difference I settled for the one near Asda when we went round the stupid 'WHICH LANE! WHICH LANE!??' roundabout.

Then I took the one above when I went to Home Bargains via Asda car park. There is a whole tree adorning a lamppost next to the DUMP still allowed to conduct business with NO PLANNING PERMISSION - it ran out June 2011. Incidentally this pile of garbage is right next to the new McDonalds currently being built. Obviously we can do what we like in Langley Mill regards planning so I may extend my house onto the road a bit (mini-rant over, I feel much better now).

I would like to know - of course - who decided which lampposts deserved half a tree or a whole tree ;-) ...

Saturday, 1 December 2012

Cromford Road Car Park - Free Short Stay

Information from fellow grumpy ALI

The Cromford Road car park is again under the control of AVBC, after making the choice to return it to a FREE short stay car park. A nominal rent is to be paid to the new landlord.

Please be aware that it is free for ONLY a 3 hour maximum stay, so Council enforcement officers may be keeping a lookout when it reopens for those wanting to stay for much longer periods, thinking they are able to park all day as they did before

...

Thanks ALI. There were 3 ... I repeat THREE police persons stood outside the car park yesterday morning. If we'd had time, I'd have asked them to get the car shifted that was stupidly parked on the corner of Cromford Road/Bridge Street. Neither grumpy nor myself could see around it to check for traffic whizzing down Cromford Road. Grumpy was already having enough problems judging how fast the speeding morons were coming from Station Road ...

Friday, 30 November 2012

Latest Doings In Langley Mill Oct/Nov 2012

As observed by my fellow grumpy ALI ... I don't want anyone to miss these:

I see not many local motorists are prepared to pay the new charges on the former AVBC car park (free). We now get idiots parking anywhere they like on the road and side streets causing a hazard to other drivers ! ... on - Cromford Road Car Park
Just noticed we know have 2 illegal car washes in Langley Mill, the one that opened up on Dean Street months ago has only just applied for 'retrospective planning approval' for their 'car valet business' 5 days ago (11th Oct.) according to AVBC Planning Dept. website. So much for following the legal rules and regs. ... on - The Real Pictorial Langley Mill
Well one high street shop has been sold at auction and we ALL await what delights it will offer to us over the coming Christmas period, that's if it opens by then. I refer to what I still call Sutcliffes newsagents, over the road from the Railway Tavern on Station Road. It was a pleasure to see the smiles on the faces of both of the mature ladies who used to serve in his shop (John Sutcliffe) many years ago when I used to say 'good morning girls' as I popped in to pay my paper bill back when 'papers were delivered, happy days ! ! ! ... on - Latest Doings in Langley Mill
The date that I heard regarding the opening of McDonalds was early in the New year, maybe February, but all this bad weather we are having could have an effect on that, we shall see! ... on - Bad Manners Maketh The Post Office
I've heard the rumour by a few people locally that the access to the new McDonalds will be over a new bridge crossing the river from the rear of Lidl on the Access 26 site. Looked on the Borough Planning website but unable to spot any details, all I could see was the additional erection of 'pedestrian barriers' on the 3 approaches to the Asda racetrack and adjustment to road markings. I keep my eyes peeled to see if any trees suddenly get felled, to give us more proof of this rumour becoming fact! ... on - McDonalds Gets Go Ahead for Langley Mill - Again
Keep your eye on the car park on Saturday 1st December 2012 for new developments ! ! ! ... on - Cromford Road Car Park
Now I believe that Asda made a large donation for the upgrading of the Pottery Lane footpath when the store was granted planning permission. We are now entering the twilight months of 2012 and STILL no sign of an ounce of tarmac being deposited on that sorry path. Now perhaps some Councillors might think that the peasants of this parish will have short memories and forgot all about the £50K+ that is sitting in some bank account and hoping they could put it to better use elsewhere. Well I have news for them, my memory is a damn site better than that and will be keeping a close eye on what, if anything, happens in the New Year ! ! ! ... on - Pottery Lane And Another Moan About Slurry Corner ...

Sunday, 25 November 2012

Alternate Day Fasting Three Months On.

Well, if you've been following my blog other than the 'dieting' posts, you'll know that I've been a busy bee preparing for our wedding ... getting married ... then going on a family honeymoon.

I even managed to do 5 up 2 down for the honeymoon (Mon-Fri) by making the Sunday before a down day and the same for the Saturday after we came home. So only having Wednesday as an extra up day. I'm surprised at my determination and commitment. Three months ago I thought by the time I'd got the wedding out of the way, I'd be hiding the bathroom scales and pulling faces at the mention of that dirty, dirty word DIET ... this was all assuming I even made it that far.

Not a bit of it. Being able to eat a normal diet four days a week and only being ultra-strict for three days - and always knowing that if ever I'm hungry then tomorrow is a munch day - has made this so easy ... too easy in fact to ever give up.

I've now lost a total of 31lb (gained 1lb last week eating fast food at Center Parcs) and have set a realistic target for a further loss of another 26lb by next summer. I won't stress over little gains or no losses here and there, it happens even on a regular diet regime.

More pleasing than the weight loss is the inch loss:

Chest 3"
Waist 6"
Hips 4"
Both upper arms and each thigh 2"

There are lots more bits I measured but I'm sure we've seen enough now :)

I still feel great, especially on the down days. Anyone would logically think that being hungry would make you weak, dizzy or faint - or at least grumpy - I've felt none of those but I do now drink an awful lot of concentrate low calorie squash and plenty of fruit/herbal teas to combat hunger which in all probability is actually thirst anyway ... and I don't actually fast in the literal term.

I don't have breakfast, my first meal is about 1.30pm. These days because I'm at home, I have a warm salad from t'shop across t'road for lunch (approx 250 cals), then one of my amazing home made vegetable soups out of the freezer at about 7.00pm. Or I have 'Skinny Soup' from the same shop and occasionally tinned chopped tomatoes on toast.

I still see no reason to vary it over-much, I like soup and can flavour it to suit myself. Plus I eat a far wider variety of foods on my up days, so no chance of becoming bored. I no longer count the calories in my drinks but estimate that I take in approx 550 cals now on the down days ... and it's still working for me.

I've got a new way of doing my vegetable soup now, but this is because I can't stand certain vegetables either in soup or stew but they add bulk without too many calories. These include turnips, carrots and parsnips (yuk). So instead of cooking everything together, I cook these with only a little of the stuff I do like - potatoes, leeks, celery, peppers, mushrooms, red onions, then zzzzzz it down to a purée and do all the rest in the slow cooker and keep it moderately chunky, before mixing together and freezing it. Yum yum yum.

I can't recommend enough the Alternate Day Fasting group on Facebook for support and encouragement. Anyone wishing to embark on this particular journey to a slimmer body and hopefully healthier way of life ... with no hang-ups about 'oh, no I shouldn't have eaten that - oh bugger it, I've ruined the diet, I may as well pig out' ... would do well to join us there, I even contribute words of wisdom occasionally - well, I admitted weighing myself while holding my boobs up in case there was a chance I'd weigh less ...

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ADF Facebook Group ... come and join us :)

Friday, 16 November 2012

The Day I Tied The Knot ... Literally

Yes, this is my chunky little thigh, the stockings went all the way up!

Well, we did it ... At last!

After almost a mere thirteen years of living together, I've finally made an honest man of my grumpy old man.

Of course the date 10.11.12 was significant to me because I've got a 'thing' about numbers. If my family hadn't insisted they were coming - whether I liked it or not - I'd have picked 12.12.12 (a Wednesday). This would have made it awkward for them as they'd all need a day off work ... I am soooooo considerate.

It would also have meant I'd probably have lost the services of our wonderful photographer ... I say wonderful, I haven't seen any photos yet and if he hasn't airbrushed at least 2" off my curves, and removed my remaining extra chin, then I'm not paying him! ... Hmmm, I'd better hope he doesn't see this or he may harbour bizarre notions about actually getting paid.

Right now for a recap on my The Nightmares Have Begun post:

We were early and there were plenty of parking spaces.
We didn't forget the rings although grumpy had to search frantically through his pockets until I told him which one they were in.
We remembered to take our choice of words.
He took the cheque - boy am I cheap, is that all I cost!?
We still went ahead with the music - Annie's Song by John Denver - that we'd chosen, even though talktalk had recently nicked it for an advert - grrrr.
The speakers on the CD player were fine and didn't require hitting with a big stick (I omitted that bit last time didn't I?)
Yippee it didn't rain - although the Radley umbrella I bought just in case the skies weren't smiling on us, arrived with a bent and broken handle - so the delicious shade of orange I had about my person, didn't dribble all over Ripley Market place.
My stay up stockings stayed all the way up and didn't budge. The same can't be said for my garter, it was silky ribbon on silky stocking, it travelled south frequently.
My dress didn't split.
No beads fell off it.
It fitted perfect with plenty of breathing room by the 4th November, talk about cutting it fine! So although I'd bought a little ivory lacy number as a backup (took the pressure off me) I got to wear the dress I'd bought all those years ago especially for the event.
No idea what my make-up looked like, I was hampered by suddenly finding I couldn't see to do it without the glasses that would be covering most of it anyway ... I may have looked a bit panto dame for all I know. The hair ... well that deserves its own paragraph.
My bouquet was wearing so much hot glue, it wouldn't dare fall apart (I may do a post about the making of the bouquet and buttonholes in the near future).
I didn't lose it or my engagement ring.
Even though I'd already done my hair I still had to fasten grumpy's tie around my neck and take it over my head ... hair ... and sparkly fascinator jobby ... for him to then put over his bonce, oddly he struggled, he must have a really big head.

The hair ... well I had to have nail extensions seeing as I'd broken four nails in the last few days before the wedding. These were a jolly good idea and a treat from my youngest sister and niece. What was NOT a good idea for someone who does creative things with their own hair, was having a nail charm on the wedding ring finger.

The ever so charming nail charm ... and still going strong

As fast as I was plaiting/weaving (whatever) my hair, this charm was undoing it. Something I'd previously got down to one attempt, taking a maximum eight minutes now took five attempts (from the left side) and half an hour! It was fortunate that Asda woke me up so early.

I suggested to grumpy - and this is a polite way of putting it - that he went back to bed while I was - literally - tearing my hair out, this is because he was hovering behind me and sighing ... and it was getting right on me nerves, I was fffffizzzzing with expletives. I got on so much better after I plonked down the mirror I should never have attempted to use in the first place - you need not to see what you're doing and just feel your way - on the other side of the room.

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The registrar who married us was lovely, he put grumpy at ease lest he should muddle the order of his lines (I am ... I will ... I do ... and not necessarily in that order).

Me? ... not a nerve in sight, I'd used 'em all up on the hair!

When he asked the bit about anyone knowing any reason why we couldn't legally marry blah blah blah, my (18 months old) great niece who had already eaten half of her flower girl wand/posy doodah, decided this was a good time to ramp up her volume and tell us all what she thought ... Oh dear. He said he wouldn't take that as a response, cleared his throat and tried to drown her out ... wasn't happening! She just went a notch louder.

The beads that didn't drop off or indeed flirt in anyone's eye

We had a really wonderful day - that we'll treasure for always - with our friends and my/our family ... my lot have long since adopted grumpy. My niece did an impromptu little speech where she said that she'd have liked to welcome him to the family but he was already well cemented in.

I'd like to thank everyone who joined us for making it a really happy event. And the same thanks to those who couldn't come but wished us well anyway - my neighbour fell in the latter category but she was with us in spirit and the item I borrowed was her hanky - and more importantly ... many thanks to them all for being happy for us.

I'd just like to finish with this little observation. Contrary to popular belief that having lived together for so long - not to mention the few years seeing each other before living ovver t'brush - that everything would be just the same ... this isn't so. It's totally weird and unexpected - but for both of us, it feels like starting out anew - and we're loving it!! ...

Monday, 5 November 2012

Heanor Haulage Bonfire Night Treat

I know it's mostly out of date but bear with me:

I was enjoying my Christmas break (27th December]) looking on t'Interweb at what books I can buy for my soon-to-be Kindle - I've got the app on the android jobby, plus on the laptop and computer.

Then - because I was in a spiffing mood - I was about to write a pleasant little post on my Christmas presents (done that now). My grumpy old man came up to tell me he was off out to do what grumpys do, when he went over and looked through the bedroom window.

There were two men rooting around Heanor Haulage's yard for bits of wood, one of them saw us watching him and did some strange eye pointing gestures, I took this to mean that he'd seen us watching him, I don't know why he should think we care.

They had a pick up truck full of recently cut tree-stuff, it was emptied onto the corner where they seem to think it's a good idea to burn their rubbish.

Then they disappeared, it turned out that they were zzzzzzzzzzzing trees at the top of Dean Street - out of my view - they can't even leave folk in peace at Christmas. I suspect there may be a repeat performance of the last time they had a big bonfire, because they're bound to annoy more than me and grumpy.

Which makes me ask the question ... Why don't they burn their rubbish on their own back yard? ... Oh, you think it may upset the neighbours ... Too damn right, it'll upset the neighbours ... I'm one of the neighbours it's really pi****g off!

Anyway, someone ... and I don't know who (not me), went and had a little word with the police, they were aware of other complaints from their last bonfire - I'm impressed, they keep records - they were going to speak to HH.

Hmm, since then, they've been and gone several times, moved the long, tubular, wheeled object that had been spoiling our view of the back of Asda for eleven weeks. Left the crane running for hours on end to pollute my atmosphere and still not had their fire.

And if Heanor Haulage don't stop annoying me, they may find the next bonfire on their yard will be under their effing crane - oops - did I just put that in writing? ...

November 5th:
The above was mostly written last December, it got delayed because the fire had been put on hold. I predicted with it being bonfire night, that today would be the day they lit it, and they did (I'm sh*t hot at predicting stuff).

Not only did they light it, they used a minimum of six buckets of diesel to:

Get it started.
Keep it going.

The bonfire mostly having been built so long meant it was very wet and in all likelihood harbouring hibernating wildlife. But this IS Heanor Haulage we're talking about so they don't give a stuff.

The majority of houses up here had in fact got washing out as it's a lovely sunny day, the diesel soaked ash is landing on the aforementioned washing plus the parked cars. Fortunately I was still in when they started the fire (as my tweets can attest) so I dashed outside - I can do dash now I'm thinner, although my jeans tried to fall down twice on the way - and retrieved all my IVORY coloured washing.

Since the big early blaze of relatively dry wood burnt out, it all sort of fizzled down. Meaning the moron had to throw more diesel on to stoke it up, this achieved a huge pong, a few brief flares and lots more smoke. I'd had enough and phoned 101 to see if they could be stopped from polluting my lungs. I've not heard back and still the fire is smoking ...

Update 16.50:
The fire is still burning and the fumes are disgusting. It was started at 9.30am. Mr Heanor Haulage doesn't give a toss. I'll no doubt still be coughing until next year with the irritants I've breathed in today :'(

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Heanor Haulage Residential Development

I've been my nosy self tonight and really wished that I hadn't.

Plans are in today for Heanor Haulage, Langley Mill. The site address for the residential development is Dean Street/Bridge Street so I'm afraid that involves us far more than I was hoping. As if we haven't had enough to put up with already.

Application - AVA/2012/0994

Heanor Haulage Ltd Wesley Street Langley Mill Derbyshire NG16 4AL

Application to replace extant planning permission AVA/2009/0471 for outline permission for residential development

A decision is anticipated on 21/Jan/13 under the Delegated Powers.

I suppose this could just be a cheap way of extending the current passed plans, rather than starting from scratch as they're probably due to run out. Whatever, we can't wait ...

Update 26th October:
Our letters were sent out by Amber Valley Borough Council yesterday, the important people were sent theirs on the 24th (I'm not important). The strange thing is they still send letters to all the places they surely know don't exist at these addresses. What a waste of money! These include:

CJ Car Sales.
Delta Bookmakers.
Netto.
Insight Glazing.
PMB Pallet Express.
Heanor Haulage (cough, cough).
Chiron Gas and Welding Supplies.
The Yard Wesley Street (honest).
Pickerings Brakes and Clutches.
Les Wilson Freight Express.
Potters Snooker Club.
Probably several addresses demolished to make way for Asda

I'm not sure that the Post Office is the correct address - but I expect it WILL get there, hmmm, is Asda getting one? Pass - I'm too bored to check further now ...

Update 18th January 2013:
Passed by AVBC on 17th January

Saturday, 20 October 2012

Ten Weeks Of Alternate Day Fasting ...

... And An Experiment Never To Be Repeated.

By now we must all be getting a bit bored with this but I notice it's still fairly popular amongst my 'most read posts' so I'll continue with my updates a while longer.

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As I expected the weight loss did slow down after week three, with a normal 2lb loss every week after. But on week seven I had a pleasant surprise - yes, I know it's week ten now, but bear with me (this is a diary) - I'd lost 3lb ... WOWEE methinks, if I can lose 3lb in one week at this point without changing my diet significantly after week four, what would happen if I did two double down days a week?

With my main aim - by now - of fitting into a certain dress by a specific date, I thought 'I've got nothing to lose - except weight - I'll give it a go'.

So far the 'diet' had been a pleasure because on down days I've always been on a high. Another way of describing the feeling is 'fair twanging'. Possibly a euphoric buzz only achieved with early drug taking (before dependency) or what the more athletic among us feel during and after exercise (endorphins).

This buzz did NOT happen during week eight with the exception of Friday, and this was only because I knew that when Saturday arrived and I got on the scales, I was going to have lost loads of weight ... hmmmm.

I did down days on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Let me tell you it was a d-r-a-g. Normally by Monday night I'm grinning to myself because not only am I on a high - and sloshing from all the liquid I drink to stave off hunger - I'm also chuffed that tomorrow it's munch day.

During this week all I thought about was food, I was back to the miserable days of 'you can't eat that, it's got calories in it'. Not even Wednesday cheered me up when I allowed myself to follow a normal diet. All I thought about was hungry Thursday would soon be here, with yet another day the same after.

First thing Saturday morning, the scales were placed on the kitchen floor, I had a smug smile, I just knew it was going to be good ... 1lb, One measly pound. I got off the scales, moved them around the floor, on, off, on, off, twiddle with the dial, on. Still the same, I could have cried. I got pen, paper and calculator out to work out my calories over the week.

Oh bugger, it's possible (okay, it's obvious) I didn't eat enough. Not only did my skinny gene get switched off, it probably curled up and died. I bet the 'we're starving here, lets slow down the metabolism' genes kicked in with relish (BA**ARDS!). It looks like even though other people CAN do two consecutive days of near fasting, I can't, especially twice.

I went back to normal for week nine (Mon, Weds, Fri), I gained 1lb. I'm not giving in, I still feel great - worried in case I've buggered my metabolism up, but health-wise, fabulous.

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Now going off at a complete tangent here, this may be a mere coincidence, but I mentioned last time that I've not needed any stomach acid remedies. This still holds by the way ... Ahem, When my grumpy old man and myself go out, especially near water, he has to be smothered in mosquito/midge/whatever repellent, I just stand next to him admiring his little swarm of followers/biters. Then it's my duty to tend to the bites/lumps that he can't reach when we get home and he does his best not to scratch them. I NEVER EVER got bit myself.

This was also noticeable when I went with a group of women for a short break to Spain. They were well munched, me ... not a nibble. I put this down to my habit of jumping in the shower every five minutes. I'm not suggesting for a moment that my friends are a mucky lot, but I only had go back to our room to use the loo and I'd be under the shower before I went out again. This was a stage I was at with my obsessive compulsive doings ... shame it's never extended to being tidy.

Anyway I digress, Last week I got bit, not once but six times, four on my right wrist and two on my left knee. They swelled up, went red and ITCHED. This set me to thinking (I'm like that). I checked online to see if there was any connection between an over-acidic stomach and immunity to mosquitoes, and guess what I found? They'd done experiments and found that stressed people give off a gas that repels them. May I suggest that when they're stressed; their stomach acid goes into overdrive and this is what repels them ... just a thought.

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And now to week ten. I followed my usual pattern of Mon/Weds/Fri down days, felt enormously bloated - hormones ... I am STILL a woman ;-) - This morning (Saturday) the scales were placed gingerly on the floor, I took my pyjama bottoms off - we're still at the tin hut (brrrrr) so I'm wearing heavy duty, winter strength nightwear - shivered my way in a tiptoe fashion onto the scales. Oh yes, not only have I lost the 1lb gained last week, I've lost another 3lb with it (yeah, yeah, hormones, blah, blah blah) - a total 27lb lost, hmmm so maybe a delayed reaction to the two double down days on week eight????

Will I do it again? NO, NEVER! It's not worth the misery. Slow and sensible from now on, even if it's only half a pound a week ...

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ADF Facebook Group ... come and join us :)

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

Latest Doings in Langley Mill

As I've mentioned before, not everyone looks at the comments so here's the latest observations by ALI:

The demolition of the former CJ Car Sales building has begun, so the opening of the new store can't be all that far away.
Not many local motorists are prepared to pay the new charges on the former AVBC car park (free) on Cromford Road. We now get idiots parking anywhere they like on the road and side streets causing a hazard to other drivers.
Just noticed we now have 2 illegal car washes in Langley Mill, the one that opened up on Dean Street months ago has only just applied for 'retrospective planning approval' for their 'car valet business' 5 days ago (11th Oct.) according to AVBC Planning Dept. website. So much for following the legal rules and regulations.

.....

Yes ALI, I noticed the retrospective plans last week, I had a little titter at the time. Apparently they had permission for one part of the plans, then decided to go ahead without permission for another bit ... presumably the environmentally unfriendly - lets chuck our water down the drains and hope no-one will notice bit. Obviously some people will always think that the rules don't mean them ...

Thursday, 11 October 2012

The Nightmares Have Begun

My regular readers will know that We've been to Ripley and booked our wedding ... OMG OMG OMG!!!!

Excuse my hysteria but time is whizzing past and the day will soon be upon us ... AAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!

I really must calm down, but I have to report that I'm well into the nightmare stage, where everything that can go wrong, DOES go wrong ... it's HORRIBLE and in glorious technicolor.

I've had to wake grumpy up to tell him about my dreams because we all know this prevents it from happening. Then I've had to retell him again during the day to make sure he's got it.

So far ... and these things are NOT going to happen because I've told anyone who hasn't been able to avoid me:

We're late and can't find anywhere to park the car (ooer does Ripley have a fair? where is it? when is it? ... HECK!).
We've forgotten the rings.
ditto chequebook and ...
The paper with our choice of words.
The CD - the less said about our choice of music the better, I'm already furious that I've never heard it in years and now at the 11th hour an advert has pinched it - but not to worry because ...
... the speakers don't work.
It rains and NOTHING I'm wearing or carrying is colourfast.
My stockings/stay ups have rolled down my legs.
My dress has split.
All the beads fall off my dress.
My dress doesn't fit (yet) - this is true and probably accounts for numbers 9 and 10.
My hair and make-up are a total disaster.
My bouquet falls apart.
I lose both it and my engagement ring at the same time, hmmm
The groom can't remember how to do a Windsor knot in his tie ...

Hang on a minute though, I was awake for number 15. In fact I was having my breakfast in bed this morning and was being treated to a fashion - cough - show by my grumpy old man in his new suit and lovely spiffingly EXPENSIVE silk tie. After fifteen minutes I'd text everyone about his dilemma (I'm like that - proper nasty). Then I made him practice on an old tie ... this took another twenty minutes before we had a eureka moment.

I have to ask myself ... is it really worth it? ...

Saturday, 6 October 2012

Eight Weeks Of Alternate Day Fasting

Any of my regular readers NOT interested in alternate day fasting, will do well to give this a miss as it will bore the pants off you...

Well, believe it or not I'm still sticking with it. My most oft uttered words now are no longer 'who put that there?', but ... 'I'm a good girl I am'. This is my new mantra and is repeated throughout my down days when I've either been crunching on salad (bored with that now), ploughing my way through a delicious 'stir-fry' or chewing on kale which seems to have all the properties of green chewing gum!

I still feel great, my energy levels are way up there where they used to be when I was much younger. I'd originally put my sluggishness down to getting older (any excuse), but now I know - and will admit - the truth ... I was just too fat.

I've decided that when I reach the weight I want - which won't be ridiculously low as I really don't have the frame for it - I'll continue doing the fasting but only one or two days a week. This is what I consider a good way to maintain my weight and should also keep the other health benefits that this lifestyle has promised.

.....

Yes, about those health benefits ... I'd read about asthma, diabetes, heart disease, alzheimer's, cholesterol etc. But what I'd not come across was stomach problems. It seems odd that I've missed it as I thought I'd have latched onto that one straight away.

All my friends know that I've suffered with an over-acid stomach for donkeys years. I'm always sucking or munching on a fruit flavoured antacid tablet. I've always had pockets full of them and been in a total panic if I think I've forgotten them.

I still carry them with me out of habit, but I haven't needed a single tablet in four weeks ... not one! I usually needed a minimum of four or five a day. AND we had pepperoni pizza the other night - guaranteed to put my stomach in a hyper-fizz ... nothing.

I hadn't noticed that I hadn't needed over-acid stomach remedies ... well you don't, do you. I always empty my pockets onto the dressing table before placing shorts/cropped trousers/jeans/fleeces in the wash - this theoretically means I don't wash tissues, chewing gum or antacids with my clothes. In actuality, something from the aforementioned list gets washed almost every week, leaving interesting stains or shredded, fluffy paper - I then restock my pockets from this pile every day but gradually realised that the same packets were coming back unused.

I will of course write in the future if my apparent 'stomach cure' changes. My intention is to be scrupulously honest (as ever) about this 'diet' as I know that my blog - and I assume it's the same for everyone else blogging about this subject - has elicited some interest from certain medical and scientific reasearch establishments because we're all basically guinea pigs.

.....

When I embarked on this lifestyle choice, I knew I'd be able to stick with it (for now) because:

I work at home.
I have will power.
I bought the dress I want to wear for my wedding years ago when I was slimmer and I love it.
Writing about it publicly is a great incentive, my diets are usually sneaky so I don't look daft when I fail.

Probably point 1 is the most important factor to me. Going out to work doing this 'diet' requires a lot of forward planning and understanding workmates. One of my friends who started ADF keeps coming a cropper because even her husband makes fun of her and deliberately eats yummy food that she loves - in a way that would try the patience of a saint ... or guarantee his swift demise. I've now had a quiet word with him and he's promised to stop being so damned annoying.

Even though I work at home - or the tin hut - and so don't need to think of what to eat at work, I've started to make my soup in batches on a Sunday afternoon, instead of on the mornings of my down day. This has stopped me wanting to eat it straight away and becoming over-souped. I make enough for six days weighing and chopping the vegetables of my choice, cook them either in the slow cooker at home or the oven at the tin hut (caravan near Skegness for those who don't know). When it's cooled I blend half of it to make it nice and thick.

Then I freeze most of it in tubs with added cooked chicken style quorn and soaked and boiled exotic (Morrisons) beans to give it substance. I now have lots of different flavoured soups (chilli, korma, garlic, herb) and a variety of vegetables - yum yum - with a maximum of 250 calories in each huge tub. This does NOT mean I have soup every down day, it's just there in case I haven't got anything in to dry stir fry or for when I get fed up of crunching through salads, oh yeah ... and sick of the sight of tinned tomatoes.

Oh, didn't I mention my weight loss? Well up to now I've lost 24lb ...

.....

ADF Facebook Group ... come and join us :)

Thursday, 20 September 2012

Wheelie Tewwific!

At long last Amber Valley Borough Council have been dragged into the 21st century regards our recycling.

They will tell us in jolly tones that they've listened to us - the council tax payers - about the new recycling service we're getting. Nothing to do at all with the current contract being up (same company, new contract) and the realisation that the inept system we've put up with for years was total RUBBISH!

There was a questionnaire/survey a little while ago - I'd have to check my bossy do this questionnaire now tweets and texts to find out when exactly, and I'm not quite bored enough for that - asking us what improvements they could make.

Well obviously what we wanted was to have all our recycling in one wheeled bin and get rid of the two bags for paper and cardboard and the wafer thin, dribbly bottomed, unlidded yellow and orange plastic tubs for the tins and glass ... and we wanted our plastic collected from the kerbside too.

If I remember correctly, there was also mention of garden waste collection that may be implemented next year, but don't rely on me for this information being a done deal.

Anyway, our new grey recycling bins - which include plastic collection - are on their way to us over the next few weeks and we start to use them week beginning 19th November. There is a separate sleeve/caddy doo dah inside for the glass because if it gets mixed in with the other recyclables it'll be considered contaminated and unusable. I don't think it's too much to ask us to use the bin correctly.

Ahem, it's not often I say this - rarer than hens teeth I should think - but, oh, alright if I must ... THANKS Amber Valley Borough Council for finally asking what we want and actually going on to implement it. There, see. That wasn't too difficult and nowhere near as sarcastic as my second paragraph ...

Saturday, 15 September 2012

Five Weeks Of Alternate Day Fasting

Or More Correctly Intermittent nearly fasting:

Well, I've been doing the 'diet' for five weeks now and I've lost a total of 18lb. It is still the easiest thing I've ever done regards diets, calorie counting and generally eating better.

I've found that the best way of managing the down days is to do the 400-500 calories over two meals ... lunch and dinner and totally missing breakfast (I don't get up early but I do go to bed late). Hmmm, yes, and for the picky pedants out there, I know missing breakfast is impossible because the first meal of any day, whatever the time - IS breakfast, but you know what I mean.

One of these meals mostly - up to now - has consisted of green crunchy stuff and cottage cheese, the other one tends to contain chicken style quorn, mushrooms, onion, more crunchy stuff - peppers, carrots etc - dry stir fried with half a tin of chopped tomatoes poured on after. Seeing as I only do this three days a week (Mon, Weds, Fri) I don't see the need to vary it over-much.

I use an app called My Fitness Pal on the android jobby (also available on-line), which has proved invaluable to both tot up the calories eaten and the calories used for exercise. It tells me off every down day for not eating enough, and every up day for eating too much, but over the week my calories have averaged at roughly 1200 a day ... this is because even on my up days I've been more aware of unnecessary empty calories and so avoided them (and not craved them).

.....

The other benefit of losing weight is that I'm actually motivated to shift myself off my ar*e and go for l-o-n-g walks - like I used to do in the olden days - as well as using my stepper with resistance bands ... although ahem, I can see that this will soon be regarded as one of those faddy things I buy, use four times a day the first week, twice a day the second week, dwindling down to once a day. Then eventually it becomes something me, grumpy and the cat trip over, swear and hiss at; so grumpy will put it away ... and it'll never see the light of day again.

Up to a month ago I'd been caught in a vicious circle of little outdoor activity and insidious weight gain. I made excuses about having to do my work (sitting) or housework, hmmm. This is because as a fat(ter) person, I could always find a reason to justify why I didn't have to go out. But the truth is:

I was too tired and heavy to bother.
In summer, I was uncomfortably hot.
I was really embarrassed by my size and didn't want to be seen.

But - tubby little person that I am - I was still consuming the same calories as I did when I was more active ... the result is obvious. How really obese people cope, I can't imagine. At least some of them must be caught up in the same loop as I was.

.....

I may not have kept up the super weight loss of the first three weeks of this lifestyle, but I didn't expect to, also I think I'm gaining a little muscle weight. More important to me and far more noticeable has been the inch loss ... still only 1" from my boobs grrrr, but 3" from both my waist and hips. Oh and I'm going to have to start wearing my smaller rings because even my fingers are regaining their sylph like contours ;-)

So far, two friends have joined me. One is doing five up days and two down days a week and has lost 2lb on her first week (to be expected as she's not as over-chunky as me), and the other is doing four up and three down, slightly varying the days to work around her husband's shifts and she has lost 8lb in her first week!!.

Like me, they've had a mini-panic at the weekend, which is when we tend to let our hair down more as family life gets in the way of dedicated dieting. This is because we've all eaten (several) something(s) considered almost a complete no-no on a points or calorie controlled diet. THIS IS ALLOWED as long as we stick to being good on our down days and we're not totally daft on our other up days.

I'm now in the process of turfing out my too BIG clothes, I intend to get rid of them all and not save ANY for my next fatathon, because I refuse to let it happen! The only shame is that, sigh, I sent all my too small - and relatively new - clothes to charity during the saga of the wardrobe ...

.....

ADF Facebook Group ... come and join us :)

Monday, 10 September 2012

Price of A Stamp

It was a crumbly friend's birthday last month, I purchased a nice non-sarcastic card and my grumpy old man was despatched to post it - on his way to the bookies.

Because in distant times the local post box was set on fire, grumpy always takes mail into the Spar/post office at Winthorpe. This occasion was no exception, he duly handed over 50p and left the card with the person behind the post office counter.

A week later I phoned the birthday girl to tell her that the weather was wonderful, the sea was sparkling in the sun and we had a lovely sea breeze ... I do this to people because I can and because I'm nasty.

She thanked me for her card and said that she'd got it just the day before, making it a week late. She'd received a card from the Royal Mail, telling her that there was unpaid for mail waiting at the sorting office - which due to their greed and stream-lining - was now miles away at Ilkeston, rather than Heanor.

Off they went to fetch it ... it cost her £1.50 plus petrol to simply collect a 50p - I'm cheap as well as nasty - birthday card, which had already had the correct postage paid for. Grumpy went to the post office in Spar to tell them, and to be fair they've since reported it to the area manager and given him his 50p back. And if my friend gets her £1.50 back I'll be sure to mention it.

Hmmm, because of the extortionate price of postage, I'm thinking of getting a year's supply of birthday cards and giving them all out in January when we're at home - or even better (meaner) I'll dish them out with Christmas cards for the recipient to save until the required time ...

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Me And Alternate-Day Fasting ... Three Weeks On

Well, we've finally arrived home and naturally one of the first things I did was stand on the bathroom scales. There is an art to doing this correctly that every overweight person knows ... You have to lean to the left and as back as far as possible without actually falling off the scales. This will reduce your weight by at least 3 ounces.

My ancient bathroom scales decided not to play along, first they needed adjusting up by 4lb to reach 0. I was disgusted with the result until I stepped off them and saw that they were still stuck on 7lb. They were definitely going through the window (well they're in the bin). I went over to Asda to stock up on tins of chopped tomatoes - a lifesaver on the down days - plus other essentials and some really cheap scales.

They were much better! Whether or not they're telling the actual truth, they'll do for me. Result ... a total of 14lb loss over four weeks (this includes the time spent on the two cereals a day diet which did nothing but give me stomach cramps).

I had guessed roughly how much weight I'd lost, and I know that naturally as with every diet you come across, some of it was bound to be muscle. I tried my very best to make sure the fat/muscle ratio was as good as could be, by frequently exercising using a Reebok side stepper with resistance bands.

Only three weeks in and I've lost 2" from my waist and hips, and 1" from my boobs - I say boobs but we all know I mean my back because they haven't budged by so much as a millimetre (as per usual). Before we came home ALL our tin hut neighbours were saying they could tell I was losing weight. In fact as I write this, one of my neighbours will be starting the same diet as she feels over-chunky around her midriff. She was impressed with my obvious weight loss and the ease with which I achieved it.

I fully expect over the next and subsequent months to lose less and less weight. This is normal and I've been on enough diets to know this, also as my basal metabolic rate reduces, so will the calories needed to actually keep losing weight on the down days. I'm at 500 calories now but can foresee that I will most likely need to drop to 400 in the near future. The up days will also need a reduction but this will be easy as I'm soon full.

So far the diet has been sheer pleasure, obviously I'm getting a buzz out of losing weight - who wouldn't - but my energy levels have shot through the roof ... I feel like swinging from chandeliers, bouncing off the walls and jumping off of things.

The only down side so far, is that I'm even clumsier than I was before. I've always walked into things, but being marginally lighter means that when I launch myself in any direction, I get there sooner than expected. There are at least five conversations a day with grumpy about door-frames, tables and cupboards, along the lines of 'who put that there?' And twice I've walked into my stepper ... I'm on a very risky route to another broken toe.

I've invested in The Alternate-Day Diet book by Doctor Johnson, it is very interesting albeit far too scientific to hold my attention for any great length of time, so I only read it in short bursts. I told my friend yesterday that I felt WIRED and now I've just read the bit where he used the exact same word to describe how people on the diet feel, hmmm, just like when Asda have kept me awake for two or three consecutive nights.

I did NOT follow the rules about using diet shakes in the first two weeks on down days, why should I? I'm grown up enough to know what I'm eating and well able to count the calories without cheating. Also as I mentioned in my last dieting post, I'm not actually doing this on alternate days but only Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, with other weekdays and whole weekends totally free to eat what I like.

Now here's the weird thing, by the third weekend, all I could think about was wanting Monday to come so I could be in proper control of my eating, which was daft because even on the up days (Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and Sunday) I am still basically eating healthy food, just with a few added extras.

I actually find the down days easier than the up days, mainly because contrary to popular belief that ALL fat people stuff themselves silly, I don't have a big appetite, nor fortunately do I have a sweet tooth. But I love nuts and cheese - which I've now virtually given up, sigh - and Hovis Seed Sensation under my Lurpak ... and jacket potatoes under my cheese and Lurpak. Then there's the weekly pizza and the fortnightly Indian etc. And we're not even going to mention the Whisky. So with me I'm afraid it was WHAT I ate, rather than how much.

Of course the Doughnut competition didn't help either ... Us and the tin hut neighbours seeing who could buy each other the most jammy doughnuts from Morrisons = one a day each! And not at all bad for someone who doesn't even particularly like them. Now we've all given them up (or so they say).

Last Saturday I had a little apple pie with a minuscule amount of ice-cream on it, and all I could think about was getting on my stepper to negate those specific calories. This is BAD, I'm allowed to eat what I want on up days without the guilt trip, but it's a hard dieting habit to break.

On Sunday I had my usual Jordans Muesli breakfast and because my dinner stretched to two meals (fairly normal), I had approximately 1000 calories all day and didn't want anything more. So now my Sundays will be neither up nor down days, more of an in-between. And since I finished reading the book the same night, I see that I'm perfectly normal in doing exactly this ...

.....

ADF Facebook Group ... come and join us :)

Thursday, 23 August 2012

Mill Pub Fire August 2012

By Guest Blogger ALI

Well The Mill pub is back in the headlines again for all the wrong reasons, in the early hours of Thursday 23rd August at around 5am the Derbyshire fire service were attending yet ANOTHER fire at the premises, this fire required the use of three appliances which included a 'high rise pump' to tackle the roof fire.

Road closures caused severe traffic problems until after midday, finally getting back to 'normal' at 12.30. Now the inspection of the building starts and to possible causes?

Strange how this fire comes only a short time after the refusal to accept an offer just under the 'reserve' of £215K at the auction. If the building is in a fit and safe state NOT to require demolition is yet to be decided, many locals are hoping it WILL need to come down and rid this Parish of one of its MANY eyesores!

ALI (Gladstone St.)

Monday, 20 August 2012

Me And Alternate Day Fasting

Yes, I'm on a diet ... it originally started as a joke about grumpy being able carry me over the threshold without having to do it one leg at a time ... or (before anyone else suggests it) asking Mr Heanor Haulage if he can borrow his crane. I think even if I do lose a few pounds the best I can hope for is a fireman's lift ... but only if we can stop laughing long enough.

Now being at the tin hut with just a tape measure - which tells dreadful lies about my porkiness - to check my progress, is a tiny bit unsatisfactory. But hopefully, I may get a pleasant surprise once I'm home for a few days.

If things are looking good, then I'll be found almost constantly wearing the bathroom scales as an extension under my feet (which also makes me two inches taller so less under-height for my weight) ... on the other hand, I may just throw them through the window in disgust - I am likely to do this.

Any advocates of ADF reading this and screaming at me that 'day one' was totally wrong ... I know. And it was never repeated on subsequent down days. I started this diet mid-week on a whim and was - of course - totally unprepared.

I have decided in my wisdom that this subject is best handled by those most directly involved, namely my stomach and brain ... and a few other body parts for good measure. So, ahem, here goes:

Day One

Stomach: Look here, we've not long since had breakfast and she's bending over.

Brain: She's bowling.

Stomach: Well I can't confirm that our contents will stay down if she keeps this up.

Brain: Okay, stomach. I'll tell her to delay bowling in future.

Stomach: Ugh, luke warm mazzy watter tea, what's that for?

Brain: Sorry, no choice, she's overheating and dehydrating.

Stomach: Salt? Where's that from?

Brain: Top lip.

Stomach: S-n-o-t! ... is she eating bogies?

Brain: It's sweat, she's fifty-two, not two. Now push off, I've got to concentrate.
Stomach: On what?
Brain: Coordination ... she keeps lumbering about, bends down with her ar*e in the air and chucks a lump of black plastic at a white dot. Then of course eyes and right arm can't agree on which direction to throw it ... I think this is meant to be 'exercise for crumblies'
Stomach: Oh.

Stomach: Oi! Isn't it time we had food? I've finished with the muesli and we're all clear for the next lot.

Brain: She's on a diet.

Stomach: Give me strength, I thought we'd just done one.

Brain: We have.

Stomach: Shouldn't it be muesli again now?

Brain: No, I told you, we've done with the two cereals diet.

Stomach: What was wrong with that?

Brain: Another organ wasn't happy; requested a change.

Stomach: Oh, her at the end of the line? She's a prima donna that one, can't take work.

Stomach: So, is it Monday again already?
Brain: No, Wednesday.
Stomach: Wednesday! I thought it was in the rules that diets start on a Monday.

Brain: Yeah, and finish by Tuesday.

Stomach: Oi! Can you make her eat, it's a bit empty in here, I can see my creases.

Brain: I'll try, but I can't promise anything.

Stomach: Well?

Brain: Nothing doing.

Stomach: I'll do some squeezing and wobbling, that'll work.

Brain: Notice to all organs, this is a yellow alert, stomach is going to be a little disruptive ... Go ahead stomach.

Stomach: WTF! ... WATER!! What am I supposed to do with that? It's just ... wet.

Brain: Stop whinging will you, it won't last.

Stomach: Are you sure?

Brain: Yeah, she watched Horizon - Eat, Fast and Live Longer - the other night. It's yet another faddy diet she thinks is a good idea.

Stomach: Well it's not.
Brain:Hmmm, I'm not so sure, she could do with shifting some lard.

Stomach: Woohoo! Food coming, it's hot, yippee ... soup, where's the bread? No bread? Hold on ... it's got no substance ... slimming soup ugh.

Brain: Stomach wake up! something is on its way.

Stomach: Yeuch! hot mazzy watter ... again.

Brain: It's fruit tea ... 2 calories.

Stomach: I could have told you that, there's nowt in it.

Stomach: ALERT, ALERT we're drowning, there's water coming in by the bucket full!

Brain: Calm down, you've fallen asleep again ... she's drinking.

Stomach: Water????? ... Again, twice in one year.

Brain: I think you've got to get used to it for a day or so.
Stomach: I can't work under these conditions ... we may have to take action.

Brain: All the other organs are working optimally. Get over yourself stomach.

Stomach: Are we doing this again tomorrow?

Brain: I'm not really sure ... but I don't think so.

Day Two

Stomach: Aaaagghhhh, what's happening? I'm in a vice, I can't move. HELP!

Brain: Stop panicking, she's trying clothes on to see if they fit yet.

Stomach: Well tell her they don't.

Brain: Lungs ... deflate a little, make room for fatso.

Left Lung: Is stomach complaining again?

Brain: Yes.

Right lung: Stomach's got more wind than both of us put together.

BIG BREATH ...

Stomach: OUT OUT! Not in ... morons.

Stomach: Oho, muesli ... er, are we back on the cereals diet again?

Brain: No.

Stomach: Oooh no, there's Greek yoghurt ... no honey though. I'd better get busy.

Brain: Ummm, hang on a minute, slow down ... I'm confused, we've had coffee and a biscuit, yes?

Stomach: I dealt with that ages ago ... keep up.

Brain: O-k-a-y ... but there might not be too much more.

Stomach: Don't be daft, it's Tuesday, diet done, food is here, it needs digesting.

Brain: It's Thursday. Hmmm, slow down.

Stomach: You do your job, I'll do mine - slurp, gurgle - and proper Yorkshire tea, YUM.

Brain: Lunch on its way ... poached eggs on toast.

Stomach: Goody, I'll get this lot digested ready for the afternoon doughnut and coffee, I don't want that hanging around to spoil dinner.

Brain: She says not.

Stomach: Not what?

Brain: No doughnut.

Stomach: Fruit pie and ice-cream?

Brain: Just coffee.
Stomach: Coffee?

Brain: RED ALERT! RED ALERT! eyes and ears ... SWITCH OFF!
Stomach: What shouldn't she see or hear?
Brain: Grumpy getting a doughnut out and making a major performance of it.
Stomach: I want a doughnut, we've got plenty of room and lots of acid ready.
Brain: I say ... she's just called grumpy a git because he's wandering around eating a doughnut with jam running down his fingers.
Stomach: We're really not having one?
Brain: Oh ... eyes have spotted him surreptitiously cleaning jam off his shorts ... All body parts stand by for laughter.

Brain: You've got a meal arriving, it's a proper plateful.
Stomach: Is it worth getting excited about?
Brain: Hmmm, it's just healthy green, red and orange crunchy stuff, Oh there's a Jacket potato.
Stomach: Yay, BUTTER!! Ready ... on standby.
Brain: Nope, no butter.

Brain: Well, she's obviously eating properly now after yesterday's peculiarity, so clearly we don't need to go into starvation mode to save our blubber. Therefore, let's maintain our middle-aged metabolism as it is.
Stomach: I'll second that, it's looking good in here now ... apart from the complete lack of doughnut.

Brain: Right, body ... we really need to make up for yesterday's deficit, can we please release some fat stores.
Body: Not on your nelly, it's taken years to save all this lot.
Brain: Just do it.
Body: Won't ...

.....

ADF Facebook Group ... come and join us :)

Monday, 24 December 2012

Thursday, 20 December 2012

Sunday, 16 December 2012

Wednesday, 12 December 2012

Saturday, 1 December 2012

Friday, 30 November 2012

Sunday, 25 November 2012

Friday, 16 November 2012

Monday, 5 November 2012

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Saturday, 20 October 2012

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

Thursday, 11 October 2012

Saturday, 6 October 2012

Any of my regular readers NOT interested in alternate day fasting, will do well to give this a miss as it will bore the pants off you...

Thursday, 20 September 2012

Saturday, 15 September 2012

Monday, 10 September 2012

Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Thursday, 23 August 2012

By Guest Blogger ALI

Monday, 20 August 2012

Now being at the tin hut with just a tape measure - which tells dreadful lies about my porkiness - to check my progress, is a tiny bit unsatisfactory. But hopefully, I may get a pleasant surprise once I'm home for a few days.

If things are looking good, then I'll be found almost constantly wearing the bathroom scales as an extension under my feet (which also makes me two inches taller so less under-height for my weight) ... on the other hand, I may just throw them through the window in disgust - I am likely to do this.

Any advocates of ADF reading this and screaming at me that 'day one' was totally wrong ... I know. And it was never repeated on subsequent down days. I started this diet mid-week on a whim and was - of course - totally unprepared.

I have decided in my wisdom that this subject is best handled by those most directly involved, namely my stomach and brain ... and a few other body parts for good measure. So, ahem, here goes:

Day One

Alternate Day Fasting - Before and After

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